Friday, February 27, 2009
The new POP UP PELOSI Jack-in-the-box
With all the problems we have....we have to watch Pelosi giving us a pep rally during the Messiahs speech?
Watching her max out her vertical leap too soon.... because she forgot that THIS issue is the one she really, really is jazzed about is just too painful to watch.
By the time Barry got to solar power, Granny Botox couldn’t jump any higher despite her best efforts to show that THIS issue is the really important one.
Maybe she thought it was the old days of socialism....when the first person who stopped clapping for Stalin got an all expense paid trip to the gulag.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Expats dumping cars, flying back home to dodge credit crunch
Now, faced with crippling debts as a result of their high living and Dubai’s fading fortunes, many expatriates are abandoning their cars at the airport and fleeing home rather than risk jail for defaulting on loans. Police have found more than 3,000 cars outside Dubai’s international airport in recent months. Most of the cars – four-wheel drives, saloons and “a few” Mercedes, had keys left in the ignition.
STORY IN THE TIMES
What Italians really think of Pizza Hut
If you have trouble with the viewer going full screen...go here
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Being with Liz Taylor was like sticking an eggbeater in your brain ... Robert Wagner on his Hollywood conquests
Elizabeth Taylor was not one of those women. Being with her was like sticking an eggbeater in your brain.
One night, I met the great actress Joan Crawford at a cocktail party and was surprised when she suggested I follow her back to her house. When we got there, she invited me for a swim, telling me there were some trunks down by the pool and I could help myself. I did so and got in the pool.
After a few minutes, Joan, who was 25 years older than me, came out of the house with nothing on, dived gracefully off the board, swam the length of the pool underwater and came up right between my legs.
'Hi there!' she said in her most vivacious voice. It was a lovely, creative invitation and I responded accordingly.
I first met Anita Ekberg when she came to the RKO studios, before Federico Fellini was to make her immortal in La Dolce Vita. I took one look at her and was reduced to the level of a hormonal schoolboy.
Luckily, she responded to me the same way. The fact that she had been staked out by RKO owner Hughes was irrelevant to me.
The top was down, the day was lovely. I spotted Yvonne De Carlo, who starred in films noir like Brute Force and later played Lily in The Munsters.
We looked each other over and she nodded her head for me to come over. So I parked and got into her car.
'I'm Robert Wagner.' 'I know. I'm Yvonne De Carlo.' 'I know. I'm such a fan of yours.' One thing led to another and we went back to her house.
Three days later, I staggered out, depleted and dishevelled. I wasn't sure what month it was, but I dimly remembered leaving my car at the drive-in. Luckily, it was still parked where I'd left it.
A week later I ran into Tony Curtis, another rising young actor at the time. 'You can't imagine what just happened to me,' he said. 'I pull into Jack's at the beach. Yvonne De Carlo pulls up next to me! She looks at me, I look at her. Well, to make a long story short...'
I stared at him, then began laughing hysterically. Baby, I was in the movies.
All I have to say is "Bob...You Da Man"
Haven't we all had the debates....who's hotter, Ginger or Mary Ann......Morticia or Lilly......this guy banged Lilly Munster for pete sake!
More pictures and STORY IN THE DAILY MAIL
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Tiger's back...Great Nike Ad
Funny new Nike ad based on golfer Tiger Woods' return from injury to competition next week. Punchline is at the end.
Eastern Europe About To Go Bankrupt....and it will take Western Europe down the tubes with it.
Not even Russia can easily cover the $500bn dollar debts of its oligarchs while oil remains near $33 a barrel. The budget is based on Urals crude at $95. Russia has bled 36pc of its foreign reserves since August defending the rouble.
In Poland, 60pc of mortgages are in Swiss francs. The zloty has just halved against the franc. Hungary, the Balkans, the Baltics, and Ukraine are all suffering variants of this story. As an act of collective folly – by lenders and borrowers – it matches America's sub-prime debacle. There is a crucial difference, however. European banks are on the hook for both. US banks are not.
Almost all East bloc debts are owed to West Europe, especially Austrian, Swedish, Greek, Italian, and Belgian banks. En plus, Europeans account for an astonishing 74pc of the entire $4.9 trillion portfolio of loans to emerging markets.
Spain is up to its neck in Latin America, which has belatedly joined the slump (Mexico's car output fell 51pc in January, and Brazil lost 650,000 jobs in one month). Britain and Switzerland are up to their necks in Asia.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Well, that topped of a difficult week for Islam!
Muzzammil Hassan, the founder of a TV project to combat negative stereotypes of Muslims, has been charged with murder after the beheading of his wife....IN THE STUDIO
EPIC FAIL
Hassan told police Thursday about the death of his estranged wife Aasiya Z. Hassan, whose mutilated body was found at his offices. Having set up the channel to show the positive side of Islam and tackle those negative perceptions, he has been just been charged the second degree murder of his wife who was rather unfortunately beheaded.
"Unfortunately" beheaded? You mean it might have been an accident? Apparently she had just filed for divorce.....that would be the quickie version I'd guess.
The end of the world as we know it
A Brazilian carnival queen famous for her skimpy attire is grabbing headlines again for painting President Barack Obama’s face on her body.
Viviane Castro paraded nearly nude early Saturday with the U.S. leader’s visage on her right thigh. Brazilian President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva’s face was on her left thigh.
Castro’s stomach read “for sale” — a message she said represented the sale of Brazil’s Amazon to the U.S. Many here fear the U.S. wants to control the resource-rich region.
Castro appeared in last year’s Rio Carnival parade wearing nothing but a strategically placed piece of tape 1 1/2-inches long , violating a little-enforced nudity rule and drawing a penalty for her samba group.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Sarah Palin should have pulled a Tonya Harding
Sarah might have been able to pull it off.....Tanya's just glad she's back in the news again....I think she's the one in the pink sweater....the 80's called, they'd like their hair back.
How to make a million in five years (become a Euro MP)
Evidently the downturn in the world economy has not affected the Euro MP's much. In fact, business has never been better.
In the small studio's near the EU Parliment.....Belgians call them les cinq à sept (five to sevens) because people using them, leave work at five and arrive home to their wives at seven. They seem to have been enthusiastically adopted by some members of the nearby parliament for daytime hanky panky, or as the above video from the movie "Anchorman" shows..... "afternoon delight"
How can MEPs afford the luxuries these tough times? Well, Brussels is a bubble that has escaped the recession, thanks to the many millions that European taxpayers pour into the pockets of Euro-parliamentarians and Eurocrats alike, for adventures like this.
The Euro fatcats enjoy allowances that enable them to save £1m during a single parliament election, and vastly outpace the British for sheer effrontery, and they do so without having to account for themselves.
Read the investigative report in THE TIMES
Friday, February 20, 2009
Canadians take a brief pause from hating America
Traders Revolt....Reward People Who Can Carry the Water
This is good stuff...I couldn't have said it better myself. Rick Santelli's rant is just the beginning of resentment that is starting to be directed toward the Messiah, Dems, and Congress.
The poll numbers out this morning indicate Obama's popularity has slipped by 5 percentage points in the last week, while those who disagree with his policies have doubled in a very short time.
Captain Capitalism thinks you should start thinking about that move to Canada....and he makes some good points for it.
The Walloons are "SHIT" according to Flemish football fans
French daily Le Monde reports that the Belgian Soccer Federation has ruled that fans may chant "Walloons are shit!" (Les Wallons, c'est du caca).
Despite the fact that Flemish fans chanted in French to further piss off the Walloon team, the chant is "playful and teasing," federation officials argue, not "hurtful or injurious." Who says those sneaky Flemish can't speak French if they want to.
Actually, I occasionally watch some Belgian football....or soccer as we Americans call it, and I think the Belgian Soccer Federation could eliminate the racism, and just adopt the slogan that all Belgian football is shit "Le football belge, c'est du caca!" .....problem solved
BRUSSELS (AFP) – A row has broken out in Belgium after French-speaking politicians criticised the country's football federation for not sanctioning a Flemish club whose fans chanted anti-Walloon abuse.
Supporters of Genk in the Flemish-speaking north of the bilingual country made derogatory comments about their Walloon (Francophone) counterparts during a league match with Tubize from the south. Continue reading Yahoo Sports
Vaclav Klaus denounces the EU
I missed Baghdad Bob until the media went into the tank for Obama
Remember Baghdad Bob, the Iraqi Information Minister that gave us tons of fun with his outrageous quotes? I really missed him, but now he's back....they just call it the mainstream media these days.
It should come as no surprise that his legacy is apparently being continued on behalf of the former occupant of the fictional Office of Barack Obama. The reason that this should surprise no one is that it is a carry over from the media’s misinformation campaign that helped him ascend to the highest office in the land while preying on the electorate’s lethargy and lack of attention to detail.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
A Bootleg copy of Brad Pitts Oscar Speech
The Oscars are this Sunday, which means that the world's biggest celebtards are furiously scribbling out speeches they might have to read in front of the entire universe just in case they win. Here's Brad Pitt's.
Australia Tourism - Where the bloody hell are you?
This one is from the Government Tourist office
The one below.......a little more reality based from the locals.
And we don't want to leave the Kiwi's out......
Al Sharpton Spanks the NY Post Monkey
New York Post for featuring an astute and hilarious, satirical cartoon, that could only be misinterpreted by someone with the Fraudster's agenda. Evidently nobody told Al that his race card expired January 20th......white guilt is over, brother...one of yours is in the big house!
The New York Post cartoon features 2 cops, a dead chimp and the allegedly controversial dialogue, "They'll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill."Sharpton believes the cartoon is blatantly racist for comparing Barack Obama to a chimp.
The cartoon by Sean Delonas is a reference to the police shooting Monday of Travis, a celebrity chimpanzee who had gone berserk and seriously injured a woman.
The best description ever of how Obama got elected
We are worried about "the cow" when it is all about the "Ice Cream"
The most eye-opening civics lesson I've ever had was while teaching third grade this year. The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest. I decided we would have an election for a class president.
We would choose our nominees. They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote.
To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members. We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have. We got many nominations and from those, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot.
The class had done a great job in their selections. Both candidates were good kids. I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he got lots of parental support. I had never seen Olivia's mother.
The day arrived when they were to make their speeches. Jamie went first. He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better place. He ended by promising to do his very best. Ev ery one applauded. He sat down and Olivia came to the podium.
Her speech was concise. She said, "If you will vote for me, I will give you ice cream." She sat down. The class went wild.
"Yes! Yes! We want ice cream."
She surely would say more. She did not have to. A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream? She wasn't sure. Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it. She didn't know. The class really didn't care. All they were thinking about was ice cream.
Jamie was forgotten. Olivia won by a landslide.
Every time Barack Obama opens his mouth he offers ice cream, fifty percent of the people react like nine year olds. They want ice cream.
The other fifty percent know they're going to have to feed the cow and clean up the mess.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Drunken Negro Cookies....and say goodbye to Nigger Kisses
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
European Commission demands a single, standard phone charger
The official airline of Gay Pride Day....Northwest Airlines is now serving penis
The flights to Amsterdam will be increasing
We all know blacks are incapable of rigorous physical activity
We all know blacks are incable of any real rigorous physical activity.... I give you example one..of a Nate Robinson dunk during all star weekend....I think he lost a couple points for artistic flair when he dragged his schlong across the other players face though......at the 35 second mark.
A 33-year-old probi FDNY firefighter died suddenly during training from what was determined to be atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease, of which he was apparently unaware. That sucks eh?.... until here comes the wife and the lawyers...
The charming widow intends to sue the city and the Fire Department in a $10 million wrongful death case
...Sherita Sears, in her court filing, claimed her husband was killed by a rigorous new training program designed to keep blacks out of the FDNY.
It gets even better. The wife is an NYPD police officer!
Monday, February 16, 2009
First Dude Places 6th in Iron Dog
Moonbat Maxine Waters grilling congress
Let me preface this by saying Maxine Waters was a "high school teacher" before becoming a senator. Her questions are so moonbat crazy....the bankers don't know what to say...and it took her less than a minute to turn it into a race issue. It takes a lot for me to feel sorry for bankers...but the look on their faces as they try and figure out these questions is priceless.
This is really painful to watch...it's like when you're behind the person who waits in line at the DMV while having a conversation with her handbag, only to finally ask the clerk why he’s wasting her time.....and Obama really is the second coming of Christ.
Top Ten Messages Left on Alex Rodriguez's Answering Machine
9. "Joe Torre here -- thanks for helping book sales"
8. "Could you find a steroid that keeps you from choking in the playoffs?"
7. "Are you worried this will taint all the championships you didn't win?"
6. "It's Bernie Madoff. Nice try but I'm still the most hated man in New York"
5. "Michael Phelps here. Got any snacks?"
4. "This is Sammy Sosa. Just pretend you don't speak English"
3. "Michael Phelps again. Did I call you or did you call me?"
2. "Hey, it's Rod Blagojevich -- I'll say you're innocent, if you say I am"
1. "It's Madonna. You got a phone number for Jeter?"
Another one stolen from Wall Street Jackass ....check out the Hilary missed kiss
Obama returns bust of Churchill, replaces it with busts of Karl Marx and Neville Chamberlain
The bronze by Sir Jacob Epstein, worth hundreds of thousands of pounds if it were ever sold on the open market, enjoyed pride of place in the Oval Office during President Bush's tenure.
But when British officials offered to let Mr Obama to hang onto the bust for a further four years, the White House said: "Thanks, but no thanks."
Saturday, February 14, 2009
How to ensure a Happy Valentines Day
If you came here looking for advice...try Google. The best thing I can tell you, is just remember what day it is....they have long memories when you forget this stuff. Watch the video if you don't know what I'm talking about.
Someecards....when you care enough.....to hit send. They're funny. but you might be better off going with the nookie flowers if you want a return present.
Since my wife works for a law firm...one of my favorite Valentines jokes. Truth is funnier than fiction.
The man says "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess Who?'""But why?" asks the now perplexed man."I'm a divorce lawyer." the man with the letters says with an evil grin.
And just because I know you don't get these commercials in the states... for Agent Provocatuer.....I'm going to give you another one even though it has nothing to do with Valentines Day. Because that's just the kind of guy I am. It does have something to do with Kylie Minougue though.
Borders Bookstore now makes Obama the official Messiah.... the religion for your children
Fatass Micheal Moore wants your help
Restricted Trailer for Miss March
I'm a big fan of Sophmoric humour movies....ya I know...who'd a thought, eh?
This one looks really good, I just hope all the great punch lines aren't in the trailer.
MISS MARCH tells the story of a young man who awakens from a four-year coma to hear that his once virginal high-school sweetheart( Raquel Alessi) has since become a naked centerfold in a men’s magazine. He and his sex-crazed best friend decide to take a cross- country road trip in order to crash a party at the magazine’s legendary headquarters and win back the girl.
Obama's White House Cluster F**K , pass the Skittles Vodka
John Stewart bitchslaps Obama. This guy just can't make it without a teleprompter. You libtards have elected a president who's only qualification is "running" for president. Pass the skittles vodka...it's time to start the drinking game.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Michelle Schrenker talks about husband and Kelly Baker on Today Show (VIDEO)
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
The estranged wife of douchebag of the year, Marcus Schrenker, accused of attempting to fake his own death to escape charges of defrauding investors says she was blindsided by the charges against him, his unsuccessful flight from justice and the discovery that he was having an affair. So if you can stand listening to the insipid Matt Lauer feed her rehearsed questions...here's the video.
I'd bang her...but up close the face kind of looks like swiss cheese. She'd make a good stripper though if she needs some cash.
“I was shocked. I was shocked by everything that had happened,” Michelle Schrenker told TODAY’s Matt Lauer in an exclusive interview Friday in New York. “Everything that happened in this last year became so shocking. The affair was a shock to me. The finances were a shock to me. Everything was a change in his behavior.”
Bookkeeper, Receptionist, Coffee maker Trophy wife, whatever. When you sign off on regulatory documents as "CFO", that means you put your ass on the line.
Good luck in jail, sweetheart....the bitches are going to like that poon. I hope the kids like grandpa and grandma, cause they're going to need em.
Authorities have seized all of Michelle Schrenker’s assets, including her Indiana home, and her role as the chief financial officer of one of her husband’s companies has come under scrutiny.
Until late last year, the trim and attractive blonde thought that she was living the American dream. Her husband, Marcus Schrenker, was a handsome and dashing daredevil pilot who ran several successful investment companies. They and their three children, ages 14, 11 and 6, lived in a mansion in a private community in Indiana. They traveled in style, owned expensive cars and a private plane.
Funny Commercial of the day.....WTF
I have no idea what this commercial is about...but i've watched it a dozen times today already.....it's a feel gooder.
Anybody who knows Spanish or Portugese....let me know.
John Kerry thinks Americans are too stupid to invest their own money
About the only words I can come up with on this... are swear words....this from Herman Munster, the typical socialist who lives off his Lili's money. Life is good at 1313 Mockingbird Lane.
I just can't be trusted with my own money.....thank God for John Kerry.
The drinking Koala
However the appealing scene was actually taken in the week leading up to the fires, during preventative backburning operations.
He's still in news. They are doing a TV show about the lady who is now looking after him. Koalas don't normally drink. They get all their moisture from Eucalyptus leaves, which also makes them pretty stoned most of the time....what a life!
Another Obama appointment under the bus...Gregg Withdraws Nomination
WHAT.....NO TAX ISSUES? Even Hope and Change can be difficult when you have "no" experience in anything other than campaigning.
“I want to thank the President for nominating me to serve in his Cabinet as Secretary of Commerce. This was a great honor, and I had felt that I could bring some views and ideas that would assist him in governing during this difficult time. I especially admire his willingness to reach across the aisle.
“However, it has become apparent during this process that this will not work for me as I have found that on issues such as the stimulus package and the Census there are irresolvable conflicts for me. Prior to accepting this post, we had discussed these and other potential differences, but unfortunately we did not adequately focus on these concerns. We are functioning from a different set of views on many critical items of policy.
“Obviously the President requires a team that is fully supportive of all his initiatives.
BREAKING OVERNIGHT NEWS.. Plane crash in Buffalo New York, ALL CONFIRMED DEAD
Twelve neighboring homes were evacuated and a limited state of emergency declared.
It crashed into a home in Clarence Center, NY just after ten eastern time last nite just before landing. One person on the ground killed along with everyone on the plane. Apparantly caused by sleet and rain.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Joaquin Phoenix makes "Bizarre" Letterman Appearance
For a night when you get Bar Rafaeli for the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover almost naked....what an opening act with Joaquin Phoenix. At first I thought he was doing the Andy Kaufman thing, but the longer it went on, he just entered as one of my top picks in the dead pool, this guy needs an intervention.
Whether this was all an act or if Joaquin is just that big of an asshat, I defy you not to squirm while watching this. Letterman just completely gives up and sets out to make him look like an even bigger ass than he already is, way to go Dave, it's been a long time since you've been funny.
European officials warned of 'interns trading sex for secrets'
David goes to the Dentist....and gets a little too much gas
This has been flying around this week, and is pretty funny in it own right. If you haven't seen it, watch it first.
Last week the Christian Bale going postal video was the rage, (take a listen if you didn't hear it) and now somebody put out a mash up of the two, kind of turns into the Alec Balwin school of childcare. Watch with caution...language definitly NSFW.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Jeremy Lusk killed in motocross crash in Costa Rica (video)
Video of the crash shows Lusk completing the initial trick of his run in San Jose's Saprissa Stadium, but after his launch from a second, smaller ramp, his bike pitched forward while he attempted a landing after a back flip.
His full-face helmet sheared apart on impact with the landing surface and stopped the forward movement of his head as his body flipped over. He had a similar crash in the 2007 X Games but escaped serious injury.
Belgian 'al Qaeda cell' linked to 2006 airline plot
A CNN documentary, One Woman's War, broadcast on Tuesday evening claims that the alleged cell had high-level links to al-Qaeda. The shocking story of Malika el Aroud, a Belgian-Moroccan woman convicted of running a Web site promoting terrorism.
An alleged terrorist cell arrested as Gordon Brown prepared to meet European leaders in Brussels is said to have connections to the highest levels of al-Qaeda, it can be revealed. The cell was suspected of being directed by a senior al-Qaeda planner.
According to Belgian counter-terrorism sources, the group was radicalised by a woman whose former husband has links to Abu Qatada, the radical preacher in jail in Britain. Belgian police rounded up the alleged cell as European leaders gathered in the Belgian capital for a two-day summit in December to discuss the economic crisis and climate change.
Johan Delmulle, the Federal Prosecutor, claimed one suspect had "received the green light to carry out an operation from which he was not expected to come back" and added: "This information, linked to the fact that a European summit is getting underway at this moment in Brussels, left us no choice but to take action."
The group of five men and a woman was only charged with membership of a terrorist organisation because investigators were unable to positively identify their target.
The Messiah's "2009 Miracle Tour" hits the "Panhandle"
The Messiah's townhall meetings are usually a stocked fishpond of gift or miracle seeking rejects who make a studio audience of “Let’s Make a Deal” look like the Mensa club, but this is getting hard to take.
Here's a video of a woman named Henrietta Hughes who wants Obama to buy her a kitchen and a bathroom, what.....no 50 inch plasma?
Just to prove my point that the audience is stocked with IQ's under 50, I actually like this one better, meet Julio, the libtards version of Joe the Plumber. Two years of college, four years at McDonalds...the prototypical Obama voter. I meet Julio's every day, they're the ones that leave the fries out of my order at the drive in and are unable to make change after I hand them 3 cents to even out the change...after they've rung the till. You can just see the wheels spinnin in their head like it's going to blow up....manager please! Hold on till the end for the last comment.
I lived in Miami for 10 years and Ft. Myers was nowhere near the the panhandle...maybe this Obama guy is better than I thought.
Milton Friedman makes lefty roadkill of Phil Donahue
This classic is making the rounds on the net thanks to the “all-you-can-spend” stimulus buffet, and is worth watching. Milton Friedman gets interviewed by Phil Donahue and turns him into a piece of lefty roadkill.
This is what happens when brilliance is interviewed by a box of rocks. I get that feeling that Phil baby is just too interested in the sound of his own voice to listen and learn from one of the great men of our time.
God bless Milton Friedman! An honest and brilliant human being, who just happened to be a "real" Nobel Prize winner, before the socialists overtook the Nobel Committee and started giving out prizes like it was candy to the the likes of Jimma Carter, and Al Goracle.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Letterman Reveals Bar Refaeli is 2009 SI Swimsuit Issue Cover
There's nothing hotter than a girl with a perfect body who can dodge rocket fire.
A Sports Illustrated bigwig revealed on Bloomberg TV that the mag’s famous swimsuit edition accounts for 11 percent of SI’s annual revenue. A little math reveals that the issue filled with hot chicks in bikinis is five times more profitable than the average sweaty man catching some sort of ball issue. In other words...BOOBS are more profitable than football!
Meanwhile, don't go looking for your copy in Walmart. Some distributor is demanding an extra 7 cents a copy, and Time Inc. is telling it to take a hike.
Here is a little Bar action from last year...enjoy