The Daily Show torches ACORN

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The Audacity of Hos
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The only news that's fair and balanced is the fake news. John Stewart ridicules the media for completely missing the ACORN story. Ought to be epiphanic to realize Katie, Charlie, Brian and the rest don't report bad news for Democrats. No small wonder their ratings are in the tank.

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Obama's welfare plan

A guy walks into the local welfare office and marches straight up to the
counter and says, ”Hi… You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job.”

The social worker behind the counter at the local Acorn officee says, “Your timing is excellent....President Obama himself is here today to get you a job in person". Obama tells him he has a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You’ll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he’ll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You’ll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year.”

The guy, wide-eyed, says, “You’re Bullshittin’ me!”

Obama says, “Yeah, well… You started it.”

The best description ever of how Obama got elected

A teacher in the Nashville area writes:

We are worried about "the cow" when it is all about the "Ice Cream"

The most eye-opening civics lesson I've ever had was while teaching third grade this year. The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest. I decided we would have an election for a class president.

We would choose our nominees. They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote.

To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members. We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have. We got many nominations and from those, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot.

The class had done a great job in their selections. Both candidates were good kids. I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he got lots of parental support. I had never seen Olivia's mother.

The day arrived when they were to make their speeches. Jamie went first. He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better place. He ended by promising to do his very best. Ev ery one applauded. He sat down and Olivia came to the podium.

Her speech was concise. She said, "If you will vote for me, I will give you ice cream." She sat down. The class went wild.

"Yes! Yes! We want ice cream."

She surely would say more. She did not have to. A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream? She wasn't sure. Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it. She didn't know. The class really didn't care. All they were thinking about was ice cream.

Jamie was forgotten. Olivia won by a landslide.

Every time Barack Obama opens his mouth he offers ice cream, fifty percent of the people react like nine year olds. They want ice cream.

The other fifty percent know they're going to have to feed the cow and clean up the mess.

Stolen from the Real King of France