Showing posts with label flemish. Show all posts
Showing posts with label flemish. Show all posts

Friday, February 20, 2009

The Walloons are "SHIT" according to Flemish football fans


French daily Le Monde reports that the Belgian Soccer Federation has ruled that fans may chant "Walloons are shit!" (Les Wallons, c'est du caca).
Despite the fact that Flemish fans chanted in French to further piss off the Walloon team, the chant is "playful and teasing," federation officials argue, not "hurtful or injurious." Who says those sneaky Flemish can't speak French if they want to.

Actually, I occasionally watch some Belgian football....or soccer as we Americans call it, and I think the Belgian Soccer Federation could eliminate the racism, and just adopt the slogan that all Belgian football is shit "Le football belge, c'est du caca!" .....problem solved

BRUSSELS (AFP) – A row has broken out in Belgium after French-speaking politicians criticised the country's football federation for not sanctioning a Flemish club whose fans chanted anti-Walloon abuse.
Supporters of Genk in the Flemish-speaking north of the bilingual country made derogatory comments about their Walloon (Francophone) counterparts during a league match with Tubize from the south. Continue reading Yahoo Sports

Saturday, August 02, 2008

What is Belgium actually for?

It is of no strategic value to anyone, and should no longer be sustained artificially
To paraphrase Rene Magritte, one of the few unquestionably famous Belgians, 'Ceci n'est pas une nation'. As the slow dissolution of their state continues, even Francophone Belgians, hitherto champions of the status quo, are casting around for alternatives. A poll in Le Soir suggests that 49 per cent of Walloons favour incorporation into France, up from 22 per cent at the end of last year.
The Flemish, for their part, tend to see Belgium as a mechanism for taking their taxes and subsidising the Walloons. (They are wrong: it is a mechanism for taking their taxes and subsidising the most bloated public sector in Europe. Ordinary Walloons do just as badly out of the racket as they do.)

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Jobs in Belgium

Three young Belgian boys were fighting over whose dad was the best."

The Flemish boy said my dad is so good he can shoot an arrow, run after it, get in front of it, and catch it in his bare hands.""

The boy from the German part of Belgium said," my dad is so good that he can shoot a gun, run after the bullet, get in front of it and catch it in his bare hands.""

I've got you both beat said the Walloon boy. My dad works for the Belgian government. He gets off work at 5:00 and is home by 4:30."

Thursday, April 03, 2008

No speaking French on cell phones in Flanders


TV channel RTL reported on Tuesday that Flanders is preparing to ban speaking French on mobile telephones.
The channel also said that a translator would break into conversations in French and translate into Dutch.
Tensions between Belgium's Dutch and French speaking politicians have run high as they struggled to form a government after a June election in 2007 and only were able to agree a cabinet earlier this month.
April Fool if you haven't caught it yet....

Friday, March 28, 2008

Belgium Royals cost the taxpayers 28 million Euros

The Flemish nationalist lawmaker Jan Jambon says that the Belgian royal family is getting far more from the taxpayer than just the "civil list", the subsidy awarded to most members of King Albert's close family. Mr Jambon says the real price tag is three times the civil list.
The public list awards 9 million euros from the public purse to King Albert each year. In all the royal family gets 12 million from the public list.
Mr Jambon points to the hidden costs of the royal family. These costs account for a further 16 million euros that are listed on the budgets of other government departments.
Heating costs are funded separately. Some 234 police officers ensure the royal family's security, while the royals do not have to pay for their air travel. The lawmaker insists that if the present civil list is not enough, it should be increased so that there is greater transparency about royal finances.
Mr Jambon also calls for the scrapping of the public funds awarded to Princess Astrid and Prince Laurent, King Albert's other children.
He told the VRT: "They are ordinary people like you and me. I don't see why they shouldn't get a job."

I love Mr Ham.....but a Belgian Politician that makes sense? What a country!
Isn't paying for someone elses illegitimate children part of the culture? Besides, what job would fat Prince Laurent possibly be qualified for, except accepting welfare checks in Wallonia.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Belgium has a new government!




Belgium has a new Federal Government today. King Albert has sworn in the new five party administration. This afternoon Prime Minister Yves Leterme will deliver his government’s policy statement in Parliament.
Here's a picture of the motley crew, somebody help us!
"the only merit of this government is that it is a government " (Het Nieuwsblad)

Thursday, March 13, 2008

UN says the Belgium Flemish housing code is racist



The United Nations is raising questions about the new Flemish housing code. Under the code only people who speak Dutch or are willing to learn the language qualify for social housing.
The UN Committee on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination is worried that the code could indirectly lead to discrimination. Since 2007 people wanting to rent social housing in Flanders have to be able to speak Dutch or be prepared to learn the language of the community around them.

From the start many Francophones experienced the measure as a form of harassment and claimed that it was intended to discourage them from going to live in the Flemish area around Brussels.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Man gets booted from Bruge cafe for being Jewish, but can't file a complaint unless it's in Flemish!

In one of those only in Belgium stories, some more of that good old European Tolerance thats constantly preached to you......The Mayor of the Belgian city of Bruges has asked for an inquiry after an American Jewish tourist was ousted from a café restaurant because he was wearing a kippa or skullcap.
Later, an officer indicated that a complaint can only be registered in Flemish and not in English, adding erroneously that Belgian law doesn’t foresee the anti-Semitic offense. STORY

Original link in Dutch from De Standard

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

This is an old trick from Wallonia

A 66-year-old man from New York, Virgilio Cintron, died before he could cash his Social Security check so his roommate and a friend used an office chair to wheel Virgilio's corpse down to the Pay-O-Matic check cashing store in an attempt to cash the check. A trick used by Walloons for decades, its why the Flemish want to seperate.

Unfortunately, the two men couldn't help but be noticed by passers-by as they wheeled a corpse, flailing from side to side, along Ninth Avenue in Manhattan.
The roommate and a third man, who was a friend of the deceased, reportedly left Cintron outside as they entered the establishment, pointing to him through the window when the cashier told them that Cintron would have to be present to cash the check, according to the police account.

When the cashier asked them to bring Cintron inside, they exited the building, where they were confronted by an on-duty Real Time Crime Center detective who had been in the building next door when he noticed the commotion.
The two men were taken into police custody, where they were questioned and may face charges related to criminal impersonation or check fraud.
Cintron is believed to have died of natural causes.
Sounds like "Weekend at Bernie's" STORY

Friday, December 21, 2007

Merry Christmas...Belgium has a new Government!

For now that is.....in a few months we'll be right back where we started.
Belgium proves that we really don’t need government. It’s been six months since an inconclusive election, and only now have they finally cobbled together a government of sorts, but only an “interim” administration to be followed by another “interim” administration.

Nothing suggests that the two sides are ready to agree. Nothing suggests that Leterme – who has shown himself brutally insensitive to the concerns of the Francophone 40 per cent of the country – is the right man to lead Belgium towards a more trusting relationship between Flemings and Walloons.
Although I don't know if their is a "politician" alive who can do that.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Miss Belgium doesn't speak Flemish!!

There is so much dysfunction in this country, that if Belgium were a family, child services would take the kids away.
Last night Miss Belgium was crowned in the the Flemish mecca of Antwerp.....
and horror of horrors...she doesn't speak Flemish! On a side note, 20-year-old Alizee Poulicek is from the Czech Republic, so forgive her for not even knowing what Flemish is.
Of course the 4000 classless Flemings of Antwerp managed to boo her at the presentation also, because she couldn't answer a question in Dutch.

The incident did not hurt her image with television viewers who voted for her, but Flemish journalists assailed her with questions at a press conference, highlighting her deficiencies in Flemish. Hey there you brilliant media types... don't you think if you are going to try and degrade someone, it might help to do it in a language they could understand? VIDEO
What idiot goes to a beauty pageant to hear these girls talk anyway? If I was the judge we have the swimsuit competition, a vote, and shows over folks, we're done in twenty minutes.
On a side note, here is video of a fan who ran onstage to give Kelly Clarkson a kiss during her performance at the Miss Belgium Pageant. If the Flemish are hiring American Idol performers to perform at their pageants, I think that's about all you need to know about the amount of culture they possess.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Beer Sign Language in Flanders

Should you find yourself thirsty in Flanders, with its infinite number of languages, there's every chance that you will not be able to convey to the locals that you are in dire need of a drink. Still, if you find yourself in this condition in the Dutch-speaking part of Belgium, you can resort to 'Beer Sign Language'.
This Sign Language is not official and is simply a series of gestures commonly used in bars, at parties and anywhere else it is too noisy to order a drink without using a megaphone or getting Celine Dion to do it for you.
1. E pinke
The basic drink in a Flemish pub is a pintje or e pinke. This is a simple lager, a 250ml glass of beer, cooled and with a nice foam head of about 2cm. The universal Flemish sign is simply making a fist, but showing your little finger (pinkie), like a posh lady might do while drinking tea. Pink in Dutch also means your pinkie, hence the sign. If you feel really thirsty and want to order more than one: just show the amount you need first with your hand (eg, showing the universal sign for '5') and then, with the same hand, make the Beer Sign.


A variation of this is nen 33er. This is a glass of beer, but instead of 250ml, it contains 330ml (or 33cl, hence the name). It is not available in all pubs, though. The sign goes as follows: both hands are held, one above the other, about 10cm apart. Both hands have the palms directed to the ground. When they are in this position and you have made eye contact with the bartender, you raise the upper hand a few centimetres. It's like first indicating how big the average Smurf is and then showing how big Gargamel is.


2. Nen Duvel
A Duvel is a blond, bitter beer. Something you need when either really thirsty or in need of a kick in the liver. Duvel is also Flemish slang for 'devil', so the sign will be quite clear. Use both index fingers to simulate horns on your head.


3. Ne Palm
Palm is an amber-coloured beer, typical for Flanders. Palm in Dutch means the same as in English; the underside of your hand. The sign is self-evident: just show the palm of your hand. This is sometimes emphasised by pointing to and touching the palm with the index finger of the other hand. Otherwise you would just look like a very friendly person saying hello to the bartender. And, although it is nice to be thought of as friendly, you will remain thirsty.


4. Ne Cola
Cola or Coke. The most widespread beverage known to the galaxy, besides gin and tonic. Just form the letter 'C' with your left index finger and thumb, the same way you would gesture 'something small' (the fingertips of both fingers facing each other).


5. Ne Mazout
Mazout is a light fuel oil in Dutch, used, for example, for central heating. You can imagine what this drink looks like (and in my opinion, tastes too). It is a mixture of Coca Cola and lager: one third coke with two-thirds beer added. You have to be careful, because an enormous amount of light brown foam is produced while you are adding the beer. If you leave it to stand for a couple of minutes, you will notice that the beer and the Coke start to separate, resulting in small flecks of Coke in the beer. The foam just falls apart into a brown smudge. On the other hand, this drink is a nice combination of sweet (the Coke) and bitter (the beer) and can be refreshing on a hot summer's day. The sign is based on the 'Coke' sign, described above. You form the letter 'C' with the index finger and thumb of the left hand and use the index finger of the right hand and place it vertically in front of formed 'C', thus parting it in two. You can compare it with the '$' sign, only you use a 'C' instead of an 'S'. What you are doing, is parting the letter 'C' in half, vertically. You get something like this: ¢. So you are actually saying to the bartender that you want half a Coke. And since Flemish people don't believe in half glasses, they simply add the beer.
Based on this theme, there are several other drinks, such as Kivelah (lemonade, mostly Sprite, and beer), a half-en-halfke7, which is Grenadine (pomegranate syrup) with beer, and many more. Most of these are very local: Kivelah can also be sparkling water with beer, depending on the region you are in. No signs are developed for these. The reason for this is that these concoctions are of such a degree of unpleasantness, that no sign should ever be allowed to be developed. This prohibition is based on the Universal Human Rights Declaration by the United Nations.


What if it doesn't work?
You can always run to the nearest Brico and buy a megaphone or any other sound enhancement device.

Of course, learning Dutch is a simple solution, or maybe buying a dictionary.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Belgium Politics on Display



A sketch with comedian Francis Pirette satirizing the Belgian Politicians has become a comedy hit on Youtube. Although I find most French comedy about as funny as Jerry Lewis, this comes through as funny, even if you don't understand French. Watching politics in Belgium is like an episode of the Three Stooges anyway, you don't need words, just watch the action! LESOIR
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Friday, November 23, 2007

Belgians are hugging in Leuven

On Wednesday some 400 Flemish and Francophone students hugged each other on the square in Leuven as a show of solidarity between the country's two main communities.
One of the organisers said that they didn't want to promote political ideas, just wanted to send a positive and warm signal in times of crisis. The hug-in was staged under the slogan "Belgians are hugging" and was organised to show support for solidarity between the majority Flemish and minority Francophone communities in Belgium.
The students also called on people to sign the trade union petition in favour of solidarity between Belgians.

Everybody taking part got a free pint of lager......ahhhh, the lengths college students will go to for some free beer. The more things change, the more they stay the same!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Flemish bridges falling down

Forty-five Flemish bridges are in urgent need of repair or have to be replaced soon.
Following the recent disaster in Minneapolis in the United States, Flemish lawmaker Joke Schauvliege wanted to find out more about bridges on this side of the water. FLANDERS NEWS

The Belgium Civil War of 2007

Nobody bleeds Mayonaise?

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Euronews on the Belgian crisis



On Monday Euronews broadcasted this report (in English) on the Belgian crisis:

In Belgium, Even the Smurfs are Confused

Belgium and Canada have similar positions. Each sits on its continent, incontournable as the French say, undeniably there, but largely ignored by its larger neighbours.
Consider Belgium today. It is in the midst of a major political crisis. You haven't noticed? Neither has most of Europe.
The comic approach appeals to Belgians. Listen to Rik Torfs, a Flemish professor of government and religion: "We only produce useless things such as beer and chocolates. So we are an absolute centre of mediocrity.
"And that's a good reason to be in favour of the survival of Belgium. As we are a centre of mediocrity, nobody envies us, nobody hates us. And that's nice."

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Learning Languages by game playing

How about a playful way of learning a new language and meeting new people? If you find the idea appealing, the !New Amigos Ville! evenings may suit you well.
Every Tuesday evening, people of various nationalities gather in numerous European cafes to sit around a game board... not Risk or Catan, but a highly original language game: newamigosville. It’s instructive and fun – what more could you want? The place to be in Brussels is the back room of Café Monk, rue Saint Cathérine 42 from 7 to 11 pm on Tuesdays. More information on http://www.newamigos.com/

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Quote of the day!


“I Love It Because I Am Not Proud of It”
This is the only country in the world that has no proud identity nor any sense of chauvinism. That’s also why I like it! Look at the French and the Germans, so proud of themselves. We are the exact opposite. This flag doesn’t provoke any feeling in me, except a short sharp slap in the face for the extremist minority who wants to separate people who have never had a problem among themselves.