How Europe’s gravy train crosses the world

They are the new aristocrats of Europe — elected representatives who enjoy free holidays, dinners at Michelin-starred restaurants, an on-call chauffeur service and generous second pensions funded entirely by the taxpayer.

One well-known trick involves the overseas travel allowance, an annual pot of €3,500 (£2,650) a year for trips outside of Europe on EU business. It was too much to resist for the British MEP said to have enjoyed a relaxing holiday in Thailand.
“I remember him coming back from his summer holiday boasting about how he pulled a fast one,” said one Brussels official yesterday, who refused to name the MEP. STORY IN THE TIMES

Best ‘Out of Office’ Automatic e-mail Replies

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Lucille’ instead of Dave.

I dare you not to sing along

I'm dating myself by telling you I remember this song from 74, but its a great ad.

Europeans are much more liberated when it comes to things related to sex and commercials

If that happened at my copier, I'd never leave its side...



How come they never had those kinds of bottle openers when I go to the pub?

It's now illegal for Italian men to scratch their balls in public!

On the bright side, Italian TV can now broadcast every episode of The Sopranos in six minutes.

Italy's Court of Appeal has issued a new hands-off landmark ruling - outlawing men from scratching their crotches in public.
The ruling says that blatant scratching or holding is "an act contrary to decorum and public decency".
Superstitious Italian men often hold or touch their private parts for good luck when they see a hearse or to ward off bad luck - the equivalent of touching wood in Britain. STORY

DA MAN!

As a devout non-intellectual, I’ll leave the tributes to those who would be, or at least are willing to take a stab at it. I just want to say I like the line about how he’d rather see the government of the United States in the hands of the first 400 people in the Boston phonebook than the faculty of Harvard. Let’s see, all A’s, no O’s, M’s N’s, F’s, G’s, K’s, L’s, R’s, W’s or even B’s. That pretty much means not the Boston Irish.

Some of Buckley's better quotes:"I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would affront your intelligence."
"The best defense against usurpatory government is an assertive citizenry."
"We are so concerned to flatter the majority that we lose sight of how very often it is necessary, in order to preserve freedom for the minority, let alone for the individual, to face that majority down."
"I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob."
"Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive."
"I'd rather entrust the government of the United States to the first 400 people listed in the Boston telephone directory than to the faculty of Harvard University. "
"A Conservative is a fellow who is standing athwart history yelling 'Stop!' "
"Back in the thirties we were told we must collectivize the nation because the people were so poor. Now we are told we must collectivize the nation because the people are so rich. "
"It had all the earmarks of a CIA operation; the bomb killed everybody in the room except the intended target! "
"Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views."
"Liberals, it has been said, are generous with other peoples' money, except when it comes to questions of national survival when they prefer to be generous with other people's freedom and security. "
"Life can't be all bad when for ten dollars you can buy all the Beethoven sonatas and listen to them for ten years. "
"One must bear in mind that the expansion of federal activity is a form of eating for politicians. "
"Scientists are people who build the Brooklyn Bridge and then buy it. "
"Some of my instincts are reprehensible. "
"The best defense against usurpatory government is an assertive citizenry."
"The majority of the senior class of Vassar does not desire my company and I must confess, having read specimens of their thought and sentiments, that I do not desire the company of the majority of the senior class of Vassar. "
"There is an inverse relationship between reliance on the state and self-reliance. "Truth is a demure lady, much too ladylike to knock you on your head and drag you to her cave. She is there, but people must want her, and seek her out. "

Microsoft fined €900 million by Brussels

Talk is cheap. Flouting the rules is expensive...

The new European investigations come as Microsoft finds itself in danger of seeing EU governments effectively ban its software to create documents. The European Commission and its member states have been mulling a mandate that all government documents be created in the Open Document Format (ODF), an open source competitor to the proprietary format used in Microsoft Word. STORY IN BUSINESSWEEK

Starbucks closes for three hours!!!

All right, no one freak out. Just breathe in and out through your nose because I’m about to lay some FRIGHTENING sstuff on you. USA Today
Coffee giant Starbucks announced this month that it would close most of its 7,000 U.S. stores for three hours on the evening of Feb. 26. The decision to close the stores was made so that the 135,000 managers and other employees can be re-trained.
Three hours?! Are they insane? I saw a woman in line at a Starbucks once scream at a man and call him a “fricken imbecile” because he took about one minute too long to decide what he wanted. Also, why the hell do they need to retrain the employees? What was going on before this? Were the employees just dumping water and coffee beans in to a cup and then handing it out? It’s fricken coffee, not brain surgery.
As soon as word got out about this story, pretty much all of Los Angeles went crazy. Women and men were getting into their BMWs and driving straight into oncoming traffic. Gun fire was heard everywhere, babies screaming. And still, the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf was empty. I got an aerial picture of Malibu, it’s not going well over there......

The Belgium version of "West Side Story"

Belge side story
by Indyiv

What could be more frightenening than the MOULES versus the FRITES!

BELGIUM Budget balanced in middle of the night!

It's only the middle of the night because you started at 1pm you retards!

Isn't it amazing how these politicians arrange things so you can write the above headline? A lot of us work 17 hour days occasionally when under pressure. We just call it "Wednesday"...instead of Marathon Session.

Following marathon talks of 17 hours, an accord was reached early Tuesday morning which balances the federal budget for 2008. The marathon session started at 1 pm Monday afternoon. The negotiations were tough. An extra €300 million in expenditures were earmarked, of which €200 million for social benefits. STORY

Interviewing for an Assassin

After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists for the CIA assasin position — two men and one woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
“We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.”
The first man said. “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.”
The agent replies, “Then you’re not the right man for this job.”

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room.
All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.”
The agent replies “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room.
Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.
After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.

She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair.”

Eduardo Da Silva broken leg

Arsenal's Eduardo da Silva was playing some futbol on Saturday when Martin Taylor decided to play Lawrence Taylor to da Silva's Theismann. Some people who follow the sport of soccer are not real happy about it either.

All the actual footage of the play seems to be getting removed as quickly as it's put up. If the video above is also taken down by the time you read this, just go here and search for it.
For those of you who want to relive the Theisman leg break......if it only could have been his jaw...to actually shut the guy up for once.

Oooh. Pom motion... nice!

Next to the Super Bowl, this is my favorite time in the NFL season. It's the time when the NFL cheerleading squads open up their doors trying to find the next dancer (stripper) to add to their team.

It's not the simple, show up and show us your tits type of thing you'd think either. For example, the Minnesota Vikings cheer squad has lots of requirements. Such as...
Must be at least 18 years of age as of Saturday, March 31, 2008
Must be a high school graduate or have a G.E.D.

No dummies allowed! This is cheerleading!

Final tryouts will be held Tuesday, April 29 at the Mall of America.

The Afghanistan Auto Club...This will not end good

Belgian 'wise men' strike breakthrough devolution deal

My...lets throw flowers at ourselves and we shall be known as the Committee of Wise Men! It's been my experience that a wise man in Belgium must be an expat or a tourist.

Eight Belgian elder statesmen reached a breakthrough deal on further devolution early on Monday that could end eight months of political deadlock and lead to formation of a new government within a month. Under the deal reached early on Monday, the interim five-party government would try to transfer a series of minor powers to the regions and pursue measures to strengthen cooperation between the regions. STORY

The Germans are on a Tax Blitzkrieg

Looks like they just invaded Lichtenstein!

A German spy agency has paid a secret informant some $7.3 million for a CD containing incriminating data on rich Germans who transferred billions to nearby Lichtenstein to avoid taxes. It's the biggest blow against tax fraud in Germany, and the first that has the country's intelligence agency involved.

Lichtenstein, a landlocked alpine principality with just 35,000 citizens, has made a name for itself as a discreet tax haven. Bordered by Switzerland to its west and by Austria to its east, Lichtenstein is one of the few countries in the world with more registered companies than citizens and has, like Switzerland, laws that protect bank customers from outside governments.

STORY IN WALL STREET JOURNAL

Punter wins a million pounds for 50 pence stake

A man in northern England turned a $1 horse bet into nearly $2 million when all eight of his horses came in as winners, some at as much as 10-to-1 odds.

It started with a horse called Isn't That Lucky and ended with one called A Dream Come True - a run of eight winners that turned a 50p stake into Britain's first million pound betting-shop pay-out.
He already seems set to screw it all up though, his first instinct was to tell his wife. Telegraph tells the story.

In the Shower....You know it's true!

A little Ray Romano stand up, about that daily shower. It's a little slow to start, but the facts start lining up quickly after that.

Making deposits with topless bank tellers!

Barclays is in advanced talks to buy a controlling stake in Russia’s Expobank, but don't think I'd bore you with that, it's not why I'm posting this. The Bank recently released a calendar featuring its employees in scantily clad lingerie, leaving little to the imagination.

The models include the bank’s chief economist for super-rich VIP clients, Anna Pogodina (Miss March), and her boss, Julia Kovyneva (Miss April), who is sprawled across a bed. Senior manager Maria Guterman begins the year with her modesty protected by only a tray of cakes.

My question is why are these women working in banks? This is where a penalty for early withdrawal is a major issue.

STORY AND MORE PICTURES IN THE DAILY MAIL

The Patriots win the Super Bowl!! 19-0

Belichick's Prayers are Answered

Fear not, Patriots fans, the citizens of Nicaragua think your team won the Super Bowl!
Hundreds of shirts and caps, which had been manufactured in advance to celebrate the Patriots' expected victory over the New York Giants, were handed over to children in the southern city of Diriamba."The children are the winners," said Miriam Diaz, of World Vision, a Christian humanitarian organization.
They certainly are the winners. Well, they are winners compared to the Pats. Maybe Nicaraguan television can air a commercial of Tom Brady saying he's going to "Contra-Disney World?" The funniest part about this story?
considering the sad excuse for border security, these shirts and caps will be in America before the month is out.

Europe decline could be worse than expected, Brussels admits

Europe's social model is unable to tackle the modern challenges of globalization, and has left Europe with gigantic problems. A high public debt, huge unfunded pension liabilities, a rapidly ageing population, 19 million unemployed, and an overall youth unemployment rate of 18%.

Persistent financial turmoil, the fallout from a deepening US downturn and resurgent oil prices are set to inflict a more severe slowdown on the European economy than previously expected, Brussels said yesterday.

Economists said that despite Brussels cutting its previous forecast of 2.2 per cent growth, its view remained too rosy. Independent analysts expect eurozone growth to drop to 1.6 per cent or less this year. STORY

Is your mouse calibrated?

Is your mouse calibrated?
You should do this every year. More often if you spend a lot of time on computer.
To re-calibrate your mouse, click and hold on the Y below. Then drag the Y toward the g.
If it doesn’t work, you might want to clean your mouse.
You dumb ass. You’ll believe anything

Will you marry me........ahhhh actually....NO

I’ve always wished this would happen when some dork cluelessly tries to be romantic at a sporting event however now that I’ve seen it, I actually feel really bad for this loser. I hope from now on women can appreciate how special it is to be proposed to at half-court in front of 1000’s of drunk, hot dog, and nacho eating fans. Who am I kidding, this is how all woman should reply to a bad idea like this!

How about a cheeseburger for Ten Million?

The new $10 million bill is the equivalent of about $1 at the dominant black market exchange rate, which will buy you a small cheeseburger. According to official statistics (says the BBC), Zimbabwean inflation is now past 100,000%. Recently the government introduced the latest bank note, for Zim $10,000,000. On the black market they are worth about US $1.

So we have Zimbabwe, a land that is approaching its inevitable conclusion. Once it was known as Rhodesia, the Breadbasket of Africa. Then socialists took over and expropriated the white-owned farms that constituted the backbone of the economy.

As everyone knows, socialism works perfectly, if you just put the correct gang of criminals in charge. Naturally, the report leaves out the fact a racist, Communist thug is the reason for all this.

Worlds largest music collection

For a music collector, having a secret downstairs cellar with a collection like the one above is a wet dream.
Legally blind and fighting diabetes, Mahwinney is reluctantly parting with his life's work, setting a goal of March 1 to unload this once-in-a-lifetime stash. The contents of the auction are quite amazing.
It's the undisputed largest collection of recorded music in the world. About half of the recordings are new and never played, and every genre of 20th century music is represented. There are countless rare recordings worth hundreds, or even thousands of dollars each on the collectibles market. Organized and cataloged, the collection is meticulously maintained and housed in a climate-controlled warehouse. The estimated value of this amazing collection is more than $50 million.

I like big butts, and I cannot lie!

Baby got back, or at least baby wants back in Ivory Coast. A national dance craze in the western Africa nation has resulted in a black market in treatments claiming to increase your ass size.
DJ Mix and DJ Eloh’s hit song “Bobaraba,” which means “big bottom” in the local Djoula language, has inspired the dance and consequent search for big butt concoctions. Ivorian footballers have even picked on the fad dance, shaking their booties after scoring goals at the recent African Nations Cup.
In the sprawling Adjame market just north of the city centre in Abidjan, women sell "bottom enhancers". "You need to inject this liquid into your bottom once a day," says a market trader, showing a vial of coloured liquid labelled "Vitamin B12". Each vial costs $2.
I say just eat a few sticks of butter and call me in the morning....

A Job even a STUD can handle

Here's a high paying position even most STUDS could handle.

Right now, phones are the third most important thing we take with us (right behind wallet and keys), and soon enough the mobile device will be taking over the jobs of the first two. so we're all online, all trackable, all mobile.

Now advertisers are paying users cash to watch ads on their cell phones. Users can sign up at Pumbby, regardless of their wireless carrier, indicate how many ads they are willing to receive each day, and those ads are sent to them via SMS. Each Ad opened puts Euro .44 in your pocket (or pays part of your wireless bill). Now who'd like to pay my car insurance?

Man accused of taking $2M after bank confuses him with another man

If a bank teller told you had an unknown bank account with $5.8 million in it and the bank insisted it's yours, wouldn't you spend it? That's what Brooklyn resident Benjamin Lovell did - and now he's paying.

When the Benjamin Lovell of Brooklyn went to deposit $400 into his account last December, he was told about the account. Lovell did tell the Commerce officials it wasn't his, but they told him it was his. So Lovell did what any person would do: He withdrew $1 million that day, then another $1.1 million over the next month, blowing most of it on"failed investments, jewelry for his mistress, colonic enemas and other extravagances."

Prosecutors said the bank advertises itself as "America's Most Convenient Bank" No Shit? I usually have a hard time convincing the bank that MY money is mine...STORY IN NEW YORK DAILY NEWS

Verhofstadt to resign as Prime Minister on March 20

PM Verhofstadt confirmed his intention to leave before Easter at a meeting of party chairs Monday evening.
On Maundy Thursday Verhofstadt will pass the torch on to Yves Leterme. Leterme can then go to the King with his team of ministers to be sworn in, and his government declaration is planned to take place in parliament that Thursday afternoon.

Price of Food rising much faster in Belgium than elswhere

The price of food in Belgium is rising faster than in our neighbouring countries. This has been confirmed by a study commissioned by the ING bank. The researchers question the profit margins of the wholesale and retail sectors.
The prices in Belgium have risen three times faster over the last year than the average. The cost of processed food has increased by 8.5% last year. The European average was an increase of 5.5%.

What Europeans think of each other

This is a basic backgrounder for Americans, primarily, who might think Europeans do nothing all day but bitch about Americans. Don’t get me wrong—they do love bitching about Americans. But they also like bitching about each other, as well.

Bordering countries, especially, have complex caricatures of each other, even when an outsider might think they’re more or less the same. The following is based on my numerous interactions with Europeans. Here’s a run down:

“And that’s why you gotta diversify.”

How drunk do you have to be......to talk to a statue?

And you thought French waiters were rude!

The BBC is reporting that a restaurant owner has apologized to some customers who received the above-pictured bill. Diner Clare Watkin said she thought it was written after they complained about poor service. "I couldn't believe it. The bill read 'fish cakes', which one of us had for a starter, and it was written right above it - absolutely disgusting language.

I'm sorry.....but we didn't order the Suck my D### F##K Face! Maybe it was a Blowfish?

The Ferrari of toilets!

Just when I thought Apple had run out of ideas like the iPhone...... suddenly the Air Poo comes to my attention. Seems Apple moved from computer industry to the mobile phone industry and now the Poo.

HEAD OVER HERE FOR A TOUR!

Worlds Most Expensive License Plate

A businessman named Said Abdul Ghafour Khouri was willing to pay 52.2 dirham — the equivalent of $14.3 million — for the local license plate labeled “1” at an auction at the 7-star Emirates Palace Hotel here, making it the world’s most expensive license plate. STORY

Thieves steal €25 million in treasure from Belgium Cathedral

Belgian police were searching today for a priceless Byzantine cross and other treasures stolen during an armed robbery from a cathedral in Tournai in western Belgium.

The Byzantine cross, covered with thick pieces of gold, pearls and precious stones, is said to have been a gift to the cathedral, given in 1205 by a crusader freshly returned from the sacking of Constantinople the previous year.

The robbery netted an estimated € 25 million.

STORY

Only in America!

Ex-Homecoming Queen Beats Disabled Sister With Prosthetic Leg. (you laughed because you’re a horrible person)
There is just too much dysfunction here for me to even try to explain. First of all..how many girls were in that class, for her to be elected queen?

Eighth night of riots in Denmark

The 8th night of torchings took place in Denmark last night. Several schools and hundreds of cars have been torched. ITN reported:

An alleged plot to kill a Danish cartoonist for his drawing two years ago of the Prophet Mohammad has fuelled the riots. Fifteen Danish newspapers reprinted his drawing on Wednesday in protest against the alleged murder plot.

This guy may not be having kids in the future

The 2008 IKEA Roadster

Finally.....a car I can afford, if I can just find that damn allen wrench.

Roger Clemens has hit a new low

99 WORDS FOR BOOBS

I have a new favorite song.

Smog Alert Monday and Tuesday in Belgium

Just trying to save you a ticket here....
On Monday and Tuesday a smog alert will be in effect on a number of motorways in Belgium and the ringroads. A speed limit of 90 km per hour will be imposed. The smog alert is necessary because of the high concentration of fine particles in the air.

Belgium National bank publishes report

I always love the politicians here in Belgium. Their Standard line is "if we say there is no problem...there is no problem", never mind reality.....

Belgium's two biggest trades unions have reaffirmed their position on the need to increase spending power.
Belgium's two biggest trades unions have reaffirmed their position on the need to increase spending power. The unions did so in a reaction to the National Bank of Belgium's annual report that was published today. The Governor of the National Bank Guy Quaden said that people should not exaggerate the impact that the rise in inflation has had on their standard of living.
Mr Quaden added that most Belgians have a high enough income to be able to cope with the price rises. NO NEED TO DISCUSS THIS ISSUE I GUESS!

However, the unions' reaction to the Governor's words has been one of scepticism. The Christian trades union ACV says that it is not clear about what the Mr Quaden actually means. The union's Chairman's Luc Cortebeeck told the VRT that wealth needs to be more shared out more fairly "There is currently a group of people that have seen their living standard constantly improve.""However, there is an ever-growing group of people that are having to manage with less disposable income."


Meanwhile, the socialist trades union said that the National Bank should have taken a harsher stance on the deduction of notional interest. The tax incentive to companies (both Belgian and foreign) is an interest deduction for risk capital and was introduced in 2004. On Wednesday the socialist trades union called the scrapping of what it described as "fiscal gifts" to companies.

Something for Ed......Nonpartisan

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.
The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week." The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week." The professor is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as "How to Improve Your Business" and "Becoming More Successful.
"Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week." The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of a country versus the politicians of a country.

I love dumbass reporters

At this point, is there really anyone who’s not sure what the hell happens to you when you get tasered? I love how every news crew has the one guy who “tests out” all the wacky ass dangerous stuff that comes through the news room for the color piece they want to run right before sports.

Legend Boucles De Spa

If you are into classic racing, this is the place to be this weekend.

The Spa Rally, now rechristened the Legend Boucles de Spa, is one of the top classic events of the winter. WEBSITE

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Calender

My extensive research in the field of models in bikinis has led me to discover the 2008 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue in my mailbox.

Good sport Heidi Klum, who's probably thinking that Will Ferrell's look is unfortunate enough that nobody could make it work. You will see plenty of him in the coming weeks as he promotes his upcoming film Semi-Pro, a comedy set against the back drop of the ABA's 1976 merger with the NBA. Still, if you want to see more of Will and Heidi, there's plenty of pics in this SI gallery.

I've ripped through my copy, the pages are torn, I've Googled the models and wished nothing but harm to Leo DiCaprio so I’ll someday have a chance with Bar Rafaeli.

If you are into Indy car racing this gallery of Danica Patrick will change your mind about the drivers. COMPLETE GALLERY HERE

Goodbye John and Gina

Nice party for John and Gina last night at LeBaron. Herman knocked himself out preparing a different meal for practically everybody, and the noise level was pretty boisterous by the end of the evening. This is the only part of STUDS thats negative, people leave too soon. We'll miss you guys...
John says you are welcome to come stay with them in Atlanta anytime...just remember what fish and relatives have in common. They both start to smell after three days!
MORE PICTURES

For The Girl Who Has Everything: Chocolate Pasties

Stumped for what to get your sweetheart for Valentine’s Day? Want a present which is sure to make an impression? Chocolate Pasties might be just the thing you’re looking for!

Taking edible undies a step further, a company called Gasworks, Inc. has come out with edible bras and panties.

Valentines Day

Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently

Online Dating Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently
Websites like Match.com are gearing up for Valentine's Day by allowing sad, lonely women all over the country to invite pain and rejection into their lives with just a few clicks of the mouse.

What women think about their ass

In a survey, 80 percent of women thought their ass was too fat, 15 percent said their ass was too thin and the other five per cent said they didn’t care..... they would have married him anyway.

Three men ejected from Diamond Games over betting

For the majority of her yearly tournament appearances, 17-year-old Austrian tennis star Tamira Paszek manages to keep the twins indoors, as they say. Wait a minute....this and the picture above have nothing to do with this article, she's not even playing....my bad.

Three men were removed by organizers at the Diamond Games after they were found to be gambling via laptops from the stands, a spokeswoman for the event said on Tuesday.
"Three spectators were removed. The two Russians and one German were holding a laptop and logged on to a gambling Web site were gambling on ongoing matches," said spokeswoman Katia Stroobants.
Tennis has been dogged by allegations of match-fixing and illegal gambling in the past year. Several male players have said they were approached to fix matches while betting exchanges have noted irregular patterns.
The spokeswoman said those who were asked to leave the Sportpaleis in Antwerp late on Monday were allegedly "exploiting the delay between the time a point was won and the time it appeared on the official tournament Web site."

If Valentine's Day Cards Were Honest ...

Women always say they want a relationship built on honesty. This Valentine's Day, give her a card that will prove she doesn't really mean it. MORE CARDS

Extreme Mexican Football

You try this at home!

Hey, you try waggin these puppies around awhile!

Alright, maybe pure evil is a bit of an overstatement, BUSTY DOLLY PARTON reckons her amazing boobs are more famous than she is, and has even nicknamed them Shock and Awe. It's not like they're responsible for more than maybe five or six global atrocities but you can't deny that Dolly Parton's breasts are the eight and ninth wonders of the world.
Why? Because Dolly Parton's boobs are so big that they've destroyed her back and forced her to cancel an entire tour. Where are we supposed to get our fix of ancient, massive-boobed, rootin'-tootin' country and western music now?

And that means that Dolly Parton's tour is off, as Reuters reports:

Dolly Parton's breasts may be two of the wonders of the entertainment world, but the country music icon says they are a pain in her back. Parton, 62, said on Monday she would postpone her upcoming North American tour after doctors told her to take it easy for six to eight weeks to rest her sore back. "Hey, you try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don't have back problems," the folksy singer-songwriter said in a statement.

We need more quality Television like this!

http://view.break.com/449831 - Watch more free videos

I never understand a word on Italian TV....but then you don't really need to.

Nothing says "You're Special" like a mass-produced sentiment written by someone else

Yes, it's that special time of year when chocolate manufacturers and greetings card companies encourage you to demonstrate the extent of your fondness in cold, hard, cash (or the satin-covered equivalent) on February 14th. If you hate these manufactured holidays as I do...here's some cards you wish you could send

We're Rich, You're Not. End of Story

In Oslo, library collections are woefully outdated, and public swimming pools are in desperate need of maintenance. News reports describe serious shortages of police officers and school supplies.

Drug addicts crowd downtown Oslo streets, but applicants for methadone programs are put on a months-long waiting list.Even the humblest of meals - a large pizza delivered from Oslo's most popular pizza joint - will run from $34 to $48, including delivery fee and a 25% value added tax.

In Norwegian pubs, anyone rich or insane enough to order a gin and tonic is charged about $15 for a few teaspoons of gin at the bottom of a glass of tonic.Groceries aren't cheap, either.

Every weekend, armies of Norwegians drive to Sweden to stock up at supermarkets that are a bargain only by Norwegian standards. And this isn't a great solution, either, since gasoline (in this oil-exporting nation) costs more than $6 a gallon.A study by international accounting firm KPMG reported that when disposable income was adjusted for cost of living, Scandinavians were the poorest people in Western Europe. Read: We're Rich, You're Not. End of Story

Mr Rude is impolite, smelly ... and French

Bonjour, Monsieur Rude... He's the impolite new Mr. Man and, yes, he's French. Mr Rude is also, “impolite, ill-mannered and smelly”.
Mr Rude invites people to pull his finger which acts as a trigger for his ripping off a fart, or as you Brits say "blowing a raspberry". Mr Rude has a French accent. Mr Rude has large nose.
A spokesman for the French ambassador says Mr Rude is “unlikely to improve Anglo-French relations”. Happily, Mr Rude is being broadcast on Channel Five.

Says a spokesman for the UK’s thirty-fifth channel: “The fact Mr Rude has a French accent is meant to be light-hearted and tongue-in cheek and no offence to the French.” Had offence been intended, Mr Rude would have been set in occupied France in the 1940.

Although the show is geared to children, it sounds a bit like South Park to me, and it's already been sold to American TV. STORY

Man gets booted from Bruge cafe for being Jewish, but can't file a complaint unless it's in Flemish!

In one of those only in Belgium stories, some more of that good old European Tolerance thats constantly preached to you......The Mayor of the Belgian city of Bruges has asked for an inquiry after an American Jewish tourist was ousted from a café restaurant because he was wearing a kippa or skullcap.

Later, an officer indicated that a complaint can only be registered in Flemish and not in English, adding erroneously that Belgian law doesn’t foresee the anti-Semitic offense. STORY

Original link in Dutch from De Standard

This ain't good!

The worst fear of any hockey player occurred last night in Buffalo. Florida Panthers Richard Zednik who took a hockey skate to the throat and had an artery cut. Another Panther player kicked his leg up by accident and slashed Zednik in the throat.

The video of Zednik getting injured is barely visible in the clip, but you can see where the accident took place. You can also see the trail of sprayed blood from the corner to the bench if you look carefully during the wideshot of the ice.

Below is the ESPN report on Clint Malarchuk. I'm only showing this cause the guy turned out OK and actually played again...but pretty gruesome! This accident took place in 1989 and Malarchuk was saved by his trainer, a Vietnam Vet, if I remember, who rushed on the ice and kept Clint alive.

"You're gonna need a bigger boat"

Roy Scheider, best known for his role as cop, afraid of boats that take on Great White sharks , passed away at the age of 75. Jaws is a film that gets watched over and over again by generation after generation, so this means Roy Scheider has now become immortal. I actually liked his role in the French Connection best.

The thrill of victory....the agony of defeat!

Many Belgians enjoy taking a winter break to go skiing or snowboarding in the Alps or the Pyrenees. While most of them survive their week on the slopes unscathed, some have to be bought home on the special "plaster flights" that are laid on to transport injured skiers and snowboarders.
With more people having opted to take a winter break during the half term school holidays, the number of Belgians being flown back from the slopes with one or more of their limbs in plaster has gone up by 10%.
Belgian travel insurance companies generally fly the inured holiday-makers home on special flights. Eurocross brought around 90 injured skiers home on Friday. Belgium's biggest travel insurer Europe Assistance has repatriated around 200 victims of skiing and snowboarding accidents.
A spokeswoman for the travel and motoring association Touring that organises flights on behalf or the insurance companies says that there has been a particularly big rise in the number of snowboarders injured. The majority of those returning home with broken limbs are between 15 and 25 years old.

Who says Global Warming is a bad thing!

Flanders experienced its hottest February 9th since records began in 1833. Temperatures of 16.8°C were recorded at Ukkel Observatory in Greater Brussels on Saturday.

It was a fantastic weekend for bars and restaurants.
The good weather saw many day trippers making their way to the Flemish Coast. Café terraces in towns and villages across the region also reported brisk business. Tearooms and restaurants along the coast were enjoying a surprisingly busy weekend. For many, the last few days have proved more lucrative than the Christmas period.

Readership on the blog was down about 75% over the weekend, so even you morons must have got up and done something.

Brussels Airport announces plans to construct a Low Cost Carrier Terminal

The Board of Directors of Brussels Airport have given the go-ahead for a separate, dedicated low-cost terminal at Brussels Airport, scheduled to be completed by April 2009.

"Low Cost is the fastest-growing segment in intra-European air traffic. It is expected that by 2015 low cost will account for half of the traffic within Europe. Low-cost carriers are increasingly opting for large international airports, on the condition that they can use facilities tailored to their specific needs. STORY

Alcohol locks may be on the way in Belgium

The Federal Transport Minister Yves Leterme has announced new plans to help tackle drink-driving. Mr Leterme plans to force motorists with repeat convictions for being drunk behind the wheel to install an alcohol lock in their vehicles.
The alcohol lock consists of a small box about the size of a car radio which is attached by a coiled cord to a sample head and mouthpiece.
The alcohol lock limit is usually set at around 20mg/100ml so that the device will not be triggered by small amounts of alcohol in certain foodstuffs and medicines. "A drunk-driver could be ordered to fit an alcohol lock by a judge, in addition to any driving ban or fine that might form part of his or her sentence.”, the Transport Minister added.