Hey, you try waggin these puppies around awhile!

Alright, maybe pure evil is a bit of an overstatement, BUSTY DOLLY PARTON reckons her amazing boobs are more famous than she is, and has even nicknamed them Shock and Awe. It's not like they're responsible for more than maybe five or six global atrocities but you can't deny that Dolly Parton's breasts are the eight and ninth wonders of the world.
Why? Because Dolly Parton's boobs are so big that they've destroyed her back and forced her to cancel an entire tour. Where are we supposed to get our fix of ancient, massive-boobed, rootin'-tootin' country and western music now?

And that means that Dolly Parton's tour is off, as Reuters reports:

Dolly Parton's breasts may be two of the wonders of the entertainment world, but the country music icon says they are a pain in her back. Parton, 62, said on Monday she would postpone her upcoming North American tour after doctors told her to take it easy for six to eight weeks to rest her sore back. "Hey, you try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don't have back problems," the folksy singer-songwriter said in a statement.