Thursday, December 17, 2009
An Ode to Global Warming
At first they just came for the light bulbs and I did not speak out.
Because these days, I like to hide out in the darkness of my nice warm basement.
Then they came for the plastic bags and I did not speak out.
Because I was already using the replacement bag they had issued to me as per the minimum consumption laws made of 100% Polyester (imitation weave no less).
Then they came with this giant, tandem diesel powered monster of a truck to pickup and compost my “bagged” leaves and I did not speak out because I didn’t have any bags.
So they issued me their new paper bags with 100% of the 30% portion being recycled paper, or a 70% loss in real trees.
Then they came for my oil and I did not speak out.
Because they had already confiscated my Smartcar and recycled it into a wheelbarrow that they forced me to use every Earth Day to help them discover new sites to plant more and more and more trees.
Then they came for the BBQ and I did not speak out.
Because it doesn’t matter what the F*&% you do to a vegetarian hotdog, it still tastes like $hit.
Then they came for the air conditioner and I did not speak out.
Because by this time, the inevitable cool climate trend had cycled in once again as it has for billions of eons all by it’s poor little self, for reasons we do not and may not ever understand.
Then they came to register me to vote, and I did not speak out.
So they impaled my poor little weed infested, pesticide free front lawn with one of their plastic Green Party reelection signs.
Finally they came for me and I COULD not speak out.
Because there was nothing left to give, or take.