If there’s one thing Australian news has taught me, it’s that there are some really awesome people who live in Australia. I used to think the Aussie Spicoli who destroyed his parents house while they were away on vacation was the world’s coolest person. Until now. According to Northwest Territory News:
A TERRITORY man filmed himself speeding at 150km/h while masturbating at the wheel of his drug-laden car, a court heard.
His Holden SV6 was allegedly laden with 5kg of drugs, including two cannabis plants resting on the back seat, the court was told.
Brendon Alan Erhardt, 39, was granted bail so he could marry his girlfriend of six months before he goes to jail.
Prosecutor Sergeant Melinda Edwards said in court the father-of-three told police he “had masturbated while driving” just before he was stopped for speeding on the 130km/h stretch of the Stuart Hwy.
“(He) also video recorded himself masturbating while travelling at a speed of 150km/h.”
It is alleged that officers found 4.96kg of cannabis hidden in a blue esky in the boot, two cannabis plants on the back seat, two drug pipes and a loaded .22 rifle.
Mr Erhardt also told police he had used the rifle to shoot “kangaroos from the vehicle whilst driving north”.
So let’s get this straight. While the average person who’s transporting drugs would be overly cautious and keep to the speed limit, this guy had a different strategy. He floored it to 95/mph while shooting at kangroos and masturbating…all while he was surrounded by drugs and drug paraphernalia. Oh and he filmed himself masturbating. Oh, and he was also going to marry a girl he’s been dating for six months.
So, while this guy could possibly be the world’s greatest person, my only question is why would you film yourself masturbating? Did he plan on watching the tape so he could get worked up to masturbate? Because most people would just go ahead and masturbate instead of putting in a tape of themselves masturbating and then masturbating. Or was it going to be a gift to his new fiance. And how does one go about giving someone the gift of a video of themselves masturbating. “Happy Birthday! Here’s a $25 Barnes and Noble Gift Card…and a video of me masturbating while driving. Now blow out those candles!”