We gotta have a St. Pats joke

Three Irishmen are sitting around in a tavern, debating which is the best pub.

The first says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, then you buy another drink and then MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"

The second then starts, "That sounds like a nice pub but, where I come from, there's a better one called Quinn's. At Quinn's, you buy a drink, Quinn buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Quinn buys you another drink."

Then the third pipes up, "You think that's good? Where I come from, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"

"Wow!" exclaim the other two. "That sounds fantastic! Did that actually happen to ye?"

"No," replies their friend, "But it happened to me sister!"

St. Patricks Day...Bananas in Guinness Cream

4 medium bananas, peeled
2 to 3 cups Irish stout
1/2 to 3/4 cups brown sugar
1- 1/2 cups cream

Serving suggestion: ice cream and chocolate sauce

Place whole bananas in a hot skillet. Pour stout over the bananas and boil for 2 to 3 minutes, flipping the bananas over often. Cover bananas with brown sugar and let the sugar melt. Pour cream over bananas and let simmer for 2 to 3 minutes. Serve with ice cream and chocolate sauce, if desired.

Happy Saint Paddy's Day....according to the church, its over!

March 17 for centuries has been the date to celebrate, but this year Irish Bishops voted to celebrate St. Patrick's Day on March 15 because the 17th falls within Holy Week. This is the only time it has been moved since 1940.

Which reminds me of the time St. Patrick visited an Brussels Irish pub.
The Fleming, The Walloon, and the German Belgian see St. Patrick and each buys him a beer.

Before leaving, St. Patrick shakes the Flemings hand. The Fleming says, "My arthritis! St. Patrick, your touch has cured it!"

St. Patrick next shakes Belgian Germans hand, and The Belgian German says, "My blind right eye! St. Patrick, you've cured it!"

St. Patrick goes to shake Walloons hand, but the Walloon jumps up from his chair and runs away from him."Get away from me, St. Patrick." says the Walloon. "I'm on disability!"

Dubliners - The Wild Rover (No Nay Never)

AND A FEW OF MY FAVORITE IRISH JOKES

Two Irishmen are sitting in a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They see a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them says to the other, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad."
Then they see a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman says, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation."
Then they see a Catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen says, "What a terrible pity ... one of the girls must be quite ill."

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?
Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

Paddy was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. "What's wrong, Seamus?" Paddy asked. "Well didn't ya know, Paddy, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?" said Seamus. "Ah, praise the Almighty!" Paddy replied with relief. "I thought I'd gone deaf!"