I want my SKY TV!

IMMIGRANTS caused millions of pounds of damage when they rioted at a detention centre – because they did not have SKY TV. Windows, walls and furniture were smashed in the all night rampage, a court heard yesterday. “The mood quickly changed from disobedience to aggression.” CCTV cameras, tables, TVs, vending machines and toilets were trashed.

Now come on, in their defense, Sky TV is brilliant, and totally worth rioting over...

STORY

Football Riots in Brussels

Four members of the Brussels local police force sustained heavy injuries in riots ahead of yesterday evening's Cup Final between Club Brugge and Standard. 14 punters were apprehended.

In the Brussels suburb of Laken, Bruges rioters threw stones and traffic signs at the police. "Ten police inspectors suffered light injuries, but four sustained heavy injuries.""They had to be taken to hospital with fractures and neck problems." 14 hooligans were taken in for questioning.

Charges included assault and battery and drug possession. A total number of 50 fans were injured, but 35 of them got help at first-aid posts around the stadium.