No speaking French on cell phones in Flanders

TV channel RTL reported on Tuesday that Flanders is preparing to ban speaking French on mobile telephones.
The channel also said that a translator would break into conversations in French and translate into Dutch.
Tensions between Belgium's Dutch and French speaking politicians have run high as they struggled to form a government after a June election in 2007 and only were able to agree a cabinet earlier this month.
April Fool if you haven't caught it yet....

It might not be a good idea to get married in Belgium

For every 100 marriages in Belgium, there are 71 divorces. Belgium is the absolute leader in Europe in terms of numbers. The EU average is at 43.5 divorces for 100 marriages.

They don't like kids here much either, I guess. The abortion rate has skyrocketed by 50% in the last couple years. This puts Belgium just behind Spain in that category too. De Morgen

Sarkozy to have surgery to make him taller

FRENCH President Nicolas Sarkozy is to have pioneering stretch surgery in a bid to make him taller.
The 5ft 5ins leader has contacted a leading Swiss laboratory because he has become so paranoid about his frame.
Doctors reckon they will be able to add an amazing FIVE INCHES to his height in just over a year.
When surgery is completed he will be an inch taller than his stunning ex-model wife Carla Bruni.

How the surgery works:

Couldn't he just stand on his ego?

You can't get away from America no matter how hard you try

Prepare yourself for this one - maybe with a Stoli martini or two.

Back in the days of the Soviet Union, the Soviet Red Army had an official choir composed of male soldiers and musicians. It still exists. The Red Army Choir performs throughout Russia to this day.
Now consider the Finnish rock band called The Leningrad Cowboys. A little while ago, they held a concert in Russia, in which - to the screaming applause of Russkie teen-agers - they got the Red Army Choir to join them on stage for a performance of "Sweet Home Alabama." In English. You couldn't make this up.
We're talking seriously off the wall here. Better have that Stoli ready when you watch it. IT"S OFFICIAL - WE WON!

F1 boss Max Mosley has sick Nazi orgy with 5 hookers

Now, just to prove that the British do sex scandal better than anyone, FIA President and Formula One Racing President Max Mosely destroyed fifty years of separation between himself and his fascist father’s past by recently being filmed re-enacting Holocaust death camp scenes for five hours with five prostitutes in London (NSFW unless you work in a bunker).

On to the necessarily vulgar (but sieg heilarious) details!
Highlights of the fall-from-glory primer include:
A “prisoner” inspection for lice
Shouting at “prisoners” in German while Putsching them with a leather whip
A orgy formation to put the Battle of the Bulge to shame
Switching of roles between “prisoner” and “guard” faster than Kurt Waldheim
All the play-by-play details and gory screen caps have been dutifully cataloged by NEWS OF THE WORLD; clicking on the link is for those with quick reaction times or forgiving bosses at work.

The crazy video is here. You're welcome... to all you guys who just had your Nazi sex fetishes taken care of for FREE!