$10,000 for Sidney Crosby's missing stick and gloves

There's big bucks in store for the person who can turn in Sidney Crosby's missing hockey gear. Reebok Canada is offering a $10,000 reward, no questions asked, for the return of the stick and glove Crosby used to score his winning goal in last weekend's gold-medal game against the USA.

Hockey Canada says all of the equipment was collected and was being put into the players' bags when it was noticed Crosby's stick and glove were missing

When pepfests go horribly wrong...Gotta love that Canadian education!

If I wasn't actually watching this I wouldn't believe it could happen. Back in the day...we were just hoping to catch some cheerleader doing a high leg kick who forgot to put the panties on...Now days nothing gets the student body more fired up than a sexually-suggestive dance between two teachers eh?

Welcome to Winnipeg Manitoba, where a couple of teachers decided that a pep rally would be the perfect time to give their students a quick lesson in Sex Ed.

During the rally, one student captured two of the school's teachers performing a sexually suggestive dance in the middle of the gym floor, which they have since titled "Two Teachers, One Chair." With the music blasting and the female teacher seated on the chair watch the video to see what happened.

I'm sure these kids know what a lap dance is....you'd probably find way more porn on their ipod's than this little dance, it's just mind numbing to think you'd get two teachers to go along with this.

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Hitler Has Been Informed Of The USA’s Victory Over Canada

Danny Williams, Newfie Premier, travels to U.S. for heart surgery

The heart and soul of Newfoundland politics is in for repair – and it's not in his home Province, or even in Canada, for that matter.

The deputy premier of Newfoundland and Labrador (where there is actually a town callled Dildo).. says Danny Williams is undergoing heart surgery in the United States because the treatment he is seeking was not available in his home province.

Kathy Dunderdale says the premier decided to go to the U.S. for surgery after weeks of consultation with his doctors, but added she wasn’t aware whether that type of surgery was offered elsewhere in Canada.

It’s an old joke in Canada, but might be new to some of you....Canadian's have the best health care system in the world, unless you get sick. I don't know if you can buy any SCREECH in the States though...he may have to bring his private stock.

dis stuff jus makes me newfie blood boil it do.....hey by...tunderin' Danny he crossed da line der buddy!

......the backpeddling begins......

No More BEAVER

Canada's second-oldest magazine, 'The Beaver', is changing its name because its unintended sexual connotation has caused the history journal to become snagged in Internet filters and has turned off potential readers.

The Beaver was founded in Winnipeg in 1920 as a publication of the Hudson's Bay Company, then a fur trader and now a department store chain. It has long since become a broader magazine about Canadian history and will change its name to Canada's History with its April issue, editor-in-chief Mark Reid said on Tuesday.

When The Beaver started publication, the name evoked only Canada's thriving fur industry. Ninety years later, the fur trade has diminished and the magazine's name has become slang for female genitals. Readers complained that Internet filters were blocking emails and newsletters from The Beaver, Reid said. The society also had concerns about attracting readers.


I can't end this post without the classic Quebec spoof...

How much do you really know about Canada?

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke, but the questions were really asked!

Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow(England)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q:Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto -- can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton, and Halifax? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q:Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?(England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs .

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?(USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Canadians take a brief pause from hating America

The moonbats are not limited to the United States....Canada has their fair share too.

After the great one opened his road show by welcoming the Canadians to Iowa...instead of Ottawa....(Must be one of those 57 states) it made no difference to the audience of koolaid drinkers camped out in the tropical heat of Ottawa since four in the morning, so they could get a ten second wave at a passing car.

Have we all taken leave of our senses? The CBC interviewed some lunatic woman who gravely informed us that, with the election of Barack Obama, she now knew that “everything was going to be okay.” A sign in the crowd read “First God, then Obama,” which was positively restrained compared to some of the comments one overheard. And I don’t just mean from the reporters.

And to top it off there was barely any coverage in the American media acknowledging that Obama was even here. Read more at Dust my Broom

Canadians deal with the recession..... by drinking heavily

Tough times send Canadians on booze buying binge

Canadians are buying alcohol and drinking at record levels since the economy took a nose dive. Alcohol purchases in October were up 17%, from last year. Laird T'underin' geezus! T'ank ya fer de Pokey and de welfare!

A Molson Ice commercial with Bob & Doug McKenzie and Guy Lafleur.

Think Greyhound is rethinking their ad campaign?

Think greyound is rethinking that ad campaign after that little episode in Canada?

Canadian Beer Drinkers Threaten Planet

The government-commissioned study says the old, inefficient "beer fridges" that one in three Canadian households use to store their Molson and Labatt's, contribute significantly to global warming by guzzling gas- and coal-fired electricity.
"People need to understand the impact of their lifestyles," British environmental consultant Joanna Yarrow tells New Scientist magazine. "Clearly the environmental implications of having a frivolous luxury like a beer fridge are not hitting home.
...University of Alberta researcher Denise Young, who led the study, suggests that provincial authorities hold beer-fridge buy-backs or round-ups to eliminate the threat — methods that Americans use to get guns off the streets.

If these scientists......(?) are concerned about beer drinkers and other sources contributing to global warming, I suggest inviting them to attend a NASCAR race. But, they shouldn't expect any gun buy-backs, and they might not want to try to take their beers from them when asking for the guns.

Ice Kingdom opens in Belgium

An amazing exhibition featuring 400 tons of sculpted ice has opened in Belgium.
It features an array of sculptures cut out of crystal clear ice which has been shipped in specially from Canada.
The annual exhibition is limited to the next seven weeks - while temperatures remain low enough to keep the sculptures intact.

Go here for Video

The Snow & Ice Sculpture Festival will open its ice gates on the Station-square in Bruges on Friday November 23rd. This ice-cold experience will continue until Sunday January 13th. The festival is open non-stop each day from 1000 – 1900 hours, Christmas Day and New Year’s Day included.

You know it's bad, when you turn into a Newfie joke!

Poor Belgium. If it didn't exist, it would have to be invented. Somebody, after all, has to serve as the butt of jokes about intellectually-challenged clodhoppers.
As the country passed its record 150th day this week without a legitimate government, it solidified its role as a hapless global Newfoundland. Belgium might be headed for breakup, but all the rest of the world seems to do is laugh. READ THE MONTREAL GAZETTE

If you are unaware of the Newfie reference, as it applies to Canada, take a peek.....

Who in the world is entrepreneurial?

The top four - New Zealand, the U.S., Canada, and Australia - place relatively few hurdles in the path of business owners. In each nation it takes between two and five days to start a business and requires five or fewer steps to do so. Those nations impose relatively low marginal tax rates too.

Not that it's a big surprise.....but Belgium is not your smartest choice if you want to start a business, and comes in a lowly 23rd.

READ CNN MONEY

You're not cold..are you dear?

I'd be remiss if I didn't wish the Canadian STUDS a belated "Happy 140th Birthday" from July 1st. I needed a way to work this picture in!