The Cup size choir...just in time for Christmas

You might want to go "full screen" on this one.

Last minute Christmas Gift

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How to solve your holiday drinking problems

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Best Christmas song ever!

A Merry Redneck Christmas to you

'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the trailer. Not a creature was stirrin' 'Cept a redneck named Taylor. His first name was Bubba, Joe was his middle, And a-runnin' down his chin Was a trickle of spittle. His socks, they were hung by the chimney with care, And therefore there was a foul stench in the air. That Bubba got scared And rousted the boys. There was Rufus, 12; Jim Bob was 11; Dud goin' on 10; Otis was 7. John, George and Chucky Were 5, 4, and 3: The twins were both girls So they let them be.

They jumped in their overalls, No need for a shirt, Threw a hat on each head, Then turned with a jerk. They ran to the gun rack That hung on the wall. There were 17 shotguns; They grabbed them all. Bubba said to the young'uns, "Now hesh up ya'll! The last thing we wanna do Is wake up yer Maw."Maw was expecting And needed her sleep, So out they crept out the door Without making a peep.

They all looked around, and then they all spit. The young'uns asked Bubba, "Paw, what is it?"Bubba just stared; He could not say a word. This was just like all of The stories he'd heard. It was Santy Claus on the roof, Darn tootin' But the boys didn't know; They was about to start shootin'! They aimed their shotguns and nearly made a mistake. That would have resulted in venison steak. Bubba hollered out, "Don't shoot, boys!"That's Santy Claus And he's brought us some toys.

The dogs were a-barkin' And a-raisin' cain, And Bubba whistled, and shouted, And called them by name. "Down, Spot! Shut up Bullet! Quiet, Pete and Roscoe! Git, Turnip and Tater and Sam and Bosco!"" Git down from that porch! Git down off that wall! Quit shakin the trailer, Or you'll make Santy fall! "The dogs kept a-barkin' And wouldn't shut up,And they trampled poor Pete Who was only a pup.

Santy opened his bag, And threw out some toys. Bubba got most, But left a few for the boys. Since the guns had been dropped. He just might not die. He jumped in his sleigh, Told his reindeer to hurry. The trailer started to wobble Santa started to worry. Just as the reindeer Got into the air, The trailer collapsed, But Bubba didn't care.

He was busy lookin' At all his new toys. Then a thought hit him, And he said to the boys: "Go check on yer Maw, Make sure she's all right. That roof fallin' on her Could-a hurt just a might." But Maw was OK, And the girls were too. They fixed up the trailer; It looked good as new.

And as for Bubba, He liked Old St. Nick, But Santa thought Bubba Was a pure-in-tee hick! Bubba had a nice Christmas, And the boys did, too. And we wish A Merry Christmas to you!

CSI Miami......who killed Christmas

It’s a little dragged out parody of CSI Miami, but it's always fun to see that poser prick David Caruso exposed.

I just can't watch this show anymore...... It’s like my intellect is being insulted every five to ten seconds, for an entire hour.

CNN covers the birth of Christ

Cable News Anchor: We now bring you the latest cable news update on the birth of Jesus Christ. Joining us is our regular panel of experts. Correspondent Peter Jones is standing by in Bethlehem. Peter?

Peter: What we know is that a carpenter named Joseph and his virgin wife, Mary, left Nazareth to travel to Bethlehem. They went to pay a tax decreed by Caesar Augustus. When they arrived in Bethlehem, there was no room at the inn, even though Mary was with child.

Anchor: With child? But you said Mary was a virgin?

Peter: That is one of the more puzzling aspects of this case. Mary claims she is without original sin. She said God chose her to give birth to Jesus, God's son.

Anchor: That sounds kind of far-fetched. With us today is Dr. Angie Smith of Planned Parenthood. Angie?

Angie: It is biologically impossible for a woman to become pregnant without having relations with a man. In an oppressive society, Mary has been forced to concoct this absurd story to hide the truth about her relations with Joseph.

Peter: If I may continue. The baby was born in a stable in Bethlehem. Joseph converted a feeding trough into a manger and set the baby, Jesus, in there.

Leading Democrat: It is because Republicans continue to block universal health coverage that young couples are forced to give birth in a stable!

Leading Republican: The only reason the couple was in Bethlehem was to pay yet another tax brought on by tax-and-spend liberals.

Peter: In any event, when the baby was born, shepherds in the nearby fields allegedly saw angels appear. The angels said the "Savior was born" and that his name was Jesus Christ. When the child was born, a star shone bright over Bethlehem. Three kings hundreds of miles away claim they saw the star. They followed it for many days until they arrived at the stable. They brought gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Then they returned to their lands to spread the news.

Leading Democrat: That's typical. As soon as the Messiah is born, lobbyists for the rich and powerful are already attempting to bribe him.

Anchor: Peter, where are Joseph, Mary and the baby right now?

Peter: No one knows. From what we can piece together, King Herod has issued orders to have the child killed. Apparently, the king is threatened by allegations that this child is the Savior and Messiah. All we know is that the young family has fled Bethlehem with King Herod's men hot on its trail.

Anchor: Hold on, Peter, we have some breaking news. Our satellite cameras have located a small family heading for Egypt. This new technology is amazing! As the satellite camera zooms in, we can see a man walking next to a donkey. A woman is sitting on the donkey holding a baby in her arms. Joining us now is Dr. Nathan Adams, an expert in satellite positioning technology. Doctor?

Dr. Adams: It would appear that the young family is traveling along the back roads to conceal its movement. If you look to the right corner of the screen, you can see King Herod's army searching in vain for the young family. You can see that the army is headed east, unaware that the young family is headed west. Anchor: How far away is the army from the family?

Dr. Adams: According to my calculations the family is exactly 8 miles east of Egypt's border. King Herod's army is only 5 miles east of the family. Anchor: Wait, doctor, the army appears to be changing direction.

Dr. Adams: You are right. King Herod's army has abruptly changed direction and is now heading west toward the family at a very fast clip. Somebody must have tipped them off. That family is doomed.

Anchor: We need to break for commercial, but when we come back we'll bring you the latest on the birth of Jesus Christ. Will this young family survive? The answer when we return.

Proof that there is too much alcohol around the holidays

The Santa Speedo Run in Boston

Fat Freddy Thielmans says no Christmas Decorations for Brussels

Christmas decorations have been removed from two offices at the entrance of the Brussels Court of Justice a few hours after they were installed. “We took them away so as not to scandalize anybody. We have to be neutral for the Muslims…”
Ahoy there, Fat Freddy! Your plan not to scandalize anybody failed completely because I am totally scandalized -- and disgusted -- by this foolishness. Put those Christmas decorations right back up to avoid any further scandalization.

I'm surprised people entering the Brussels Courts aren't required to remove their shoes, kiss the floor, and recite the shehada upon entering. Oh wait, that doesn't start until NEXT Christmas. The only thing worse than this idiot obeying demands, is that he does it when they haven't even complained yet!
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