Monday, June 29, 2009
My heart . . . my mind . . . are broken. I loved Michael with all my soul and I can't imagine life without him. We had so much in common and we had such loving fun together. I was packing up my clothes to go to London for his opening when I heard the news. I still can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. It can't be so.
He will live in my heart forever but it's not enough. My life feels so empty. I don't think anyone knew how much we loved each other. The purest most giving love I've ever known. Oh God! I'm going to miss him. I can't yet imagine life with out [sic] him. But I guess with God's help . . . I'll learn. I keep looking at the photo he gave me of himself, which says, "To my true love Elizabeth, I love you forever." And, I will love HIM forever.
That's 162 words and 23 references to herself (excluding the first-person plural). She must've seen something of herself in him.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
I'm going to hell anyway.....so enjoy.
When Farrah got to heaven, God gave her one wish. She wished for all the children of the world to be safe. So God killed Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson's body is not to be cremated or buried. Its to be recycled into grocery bags. That way he can continue to be white, plastic and dangerous for kids to play with.
The Thriller video is going to be so much cooler now that it has an all zombie cast.
Michael Jackson hasn't been this stiff since McCauley Culkin stayed over for the weekend.
Since Michael Jackson is 95% plastic, they're gonna melt him down and make him into legos. That way little boys can play with HIM for a change.
Michael Jackson wasn’t really found at home having a heart attack; they found him having a stroke in the pediatric ward.
Elton John will be playing at his funeral - "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"
The autopsy report came back that Michael Jackson died of food poisoning apparently he ate a 9 year old wiener.
Did you hear that Gary Glitter has put a bid in for Michael Jackson's computer?
One phrase you won't hear at Michael Jackson's funeral: "Don't he look natural?"
Troop greeters are what volunteering is all about. Frikn awesome....God bless em!
Since the Gulf War in 1991, a group of veterans and townspeople from the area have greeted every troop flight that arrives or departs from Bangor International Airport. They're so loyal to their mission that the airport set aside a permanent room for them.
This documentary, "The Way We Get By" is a captivating and intimate look at three senior citizens in America as they struggle with the losses that come with growing old and the uplifting ways they rediscover their reasons for living.
By greeting nearly one million troops at a tiny airport in Maine, they find the strength to overcome their personal battles and demonstrate the meaning of community at a time when most Americans have lost faith in their country.
Remember when there was a country to care about before all these whoring politicians got involved?
Friday, June 26, 2009
That poster alone was responsible for getting my adolesence off the ground.....I'll let you know when it's over. I'll be in my bunk.
Meanwhile....here's a Noxema commercial she did with Joe Namath before she was famous....you've got a great pair of hands.
Am I a going to hell for not giving a shit about this? Michael Jackson was a child molester in addition to being just a world class weirdo who inflicted himself on the rest of the planet.
Ed McMahon, Micheal....who's going to be number 3?
UPDATE....I guess Micheal was number 3.
I missed this earlier in the day, Farrah Fawcett dies of cancer
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Capt. Craig Lenell Sr. of Houston was 60.
Lenell died Thursday of a suspected heart attack midway through Continental Airlines Flight 61. Two co-pilots took over the controls and safely landed the jet in Newark.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
It’s a true innovation in getting the most out of each trip to the restroom. Get one for the office and one for home. Finally, you can play some golf without all those bothersome people. The Bathroom is perhaps your last bastion of freedom so don’t let anyone invade it.
The Potty Putter is the perfect Father’s Day Gift for the golf enthusiast in your life!
Saturday, June 20, 2009
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that
would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Friday, June 19, 2009
If you have been staying awake at night lately wondering what on earth ever happened to Miss Nude Belgium 2009,.....She has been found. Audrey, who doesn't want her last name used is a tour bus driver. It turns out she gave up her life of porn and nude beauty contests in order to provide a better life for her 3 and 4 year old kids.
For the life of me i couldn't find a picture of the bus babe, so enjoy the video of Alizée Poulicek (Miss Belgium 2008) at the La Perla Lingerie Show in Liege.
In this tough job market, there may be no one with more job security than porn stars. Let’s face it, the porn industry is on the rise now that thousands upon thousands of men are out of work and sitting around bored at home. For those porn stars who are down on their luck (or sick of getting stuffed all day), it may be time to look elsewhere for work.
As long as “elsewhere” isn’t on a bus.
In the UK, a porn star has been threatened with the proverbial pink slip if she doesn’t quit her night job. The reigning ‘Miss Nude Belgium 2009′ recently passed all her exams to become a bus driver and had just started working when she was called to human resources to explain some racy photographs. Turns out, you can’t show your nips and drive people around town.
“With the original Homer at your side, even the shortest drive will transform into a journey to remember,” the company says.
It’s a fun idea on the surface, but with occasional quips like, “We might find an ice cream truck! Mmm … ice cream,” or a crazy laugh or “woo-hoo!” throughout your trip, the voice might actually end up being maddening to some consumers, especially on a long drive.
The captain of a Continental Airlines flight en route from Brussels to Newark died during the trip, but the flight landed safely with two co-pilots at the controls.
NEW YORK TIMES
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Box Frites is located in the outfield concourse across from the Shake Shack and Blue Smoke. There specialty is probably self explanatory, but in any case they serve Belgian fries....at $6.50 a pop for a small box.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
The Trophy You've Always Wanted!
You won't believe your eyes! This anatomically correct mounted pair performs to the hit song "Titties and Beer" by Rodney Carrington. Molded in soft vinyl with real bikini top! WATCH HOW IT WORKS
Mount these jiggly jugs on the wall or use the included display stand. Set them on motion-detect mode and surprise the unsuspecting! Fun for home, office, garage, workshop, gameroom, etc.
WARNING: Crude adult humor; may be offensive to some. If it is....would you please go read another blog.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Monday, June 08, 2009
So enamoured of the new American Pres is Gordon Brown, that he renamed Omaha Beach in his honour at the 65th anniversary of the Normandy landings. Prime Minister Gordon Brown remembered "Obama" Beach at D-Day ceremonies in Normandy
Obviously, Obama is not the only one who is a clueless on world history. And they called Tony Blair a poodle....
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen of the Allied Expeditionary Force!
You are about to embark upon the Great Crusade, toward which we have
striven these many months. The eyes of the world are upon you. The
hopes and prayers of liberty-loving people everywhere march with you.
In company with our brave Allies and brothers-in-arms on
other Fronts, you will bring about the destruction of the German war
machine, the elimination of Nazi tyranny over the oppressed peoples of
Europe, and security for ourselves in a free world.
Your task will not be an easy one. Your enemy is well trained, well
equipped and battle hardened. He will fight savagely.
But this is the year 1944! Much has happened since the Nazi triumphs of
1940-41. The United Nations have inflicted upon the Germans great defeats,
in open battle, man-to-man. Our air offensive has seriously reduced their
strength in the air and their capacity to wage war on the ground. Our Home
Fronts have given us an overwhelming superiority in weapons and munitions
of war, and placed at our disposal great reserves of trained fighting men.
The tide has turned! The free men of the world are marching together to
I have full confidence in your courage and devotion to duty and skill in
battle. We will accept nothing less than full Victory!
Good luck! And let us beseech the blessing of Almighty God upon this great
and noble undertaking.
SIGNED: Dwight D. Eisenhower
Friday, June 05, 2009
It may be a double standard, but it's only cool when girls get their rack signed. Call me old fashioned...
Craigslist is again under scrutiny after a North Carolina man was charged with using the popular online classified site to fulfill his own fantasy by finding someone to rape his wife at knifepoint while he watched.
The woman said Thursday she has been "traumatized" by the attack, which she did not know about ahead of time. It happened a month after Craigslist agreed to overhaul its policing of sex ads following a slaying in Massachusetts.
He might not feel this rape fantasy is such a good idea after he gets introduced to Bubba in the slammer. Perversion is becoming an alternative lifestyle in this country. Our culture and our government subsidize, encourage, and glorify bad behavior, so expect it to increase.
No happy endings.
Busty volleyball star Alena Schurkova is urging tennis ace Simona Halep not to reduce her boobs as it may send the wrong message.
Romanian-born Simona, who has 34DD breasts, has announced that she intends to have surgery to make her bust smaller in the autumn.
However, Alena, who was seeded South Africa’s top volleyball player at one time, says Simona can be just as good a tennis player with her bigger assets. "If she does this it sends out the message that girls with big boobs can't play sports and that is just wrong. I am 32E and I have never found them to be a problem," the 42-year-old Schurkova told The Daily Sun.
No argument here!!!
Tokens include a bus, a teleprompter, a sprig of arugula and a waffle iron.
Wanna play? No??? Too bad, you're already playing... and quite frankly, in this game, nobody wins!
You get to start the game on borrowed money, a welfare check, mortgage bailout, or any branch of the government that justs hands money to you for no justifiable reason.
Stole it from Obamanation, check out his other cool stuff
Thursday, June 04, 2009
I'm so impressed I'm starting up a local chapter.....
"We've been meeting for six months, and we haven't read a book yet," says Andrew Upton, 45, of Somerville, describing his own book group. "We have such a good time talking about life, kids, work, politics, everything. And everyone is so busy. We may read a book at some point, but right now it's just a social club." THE BOSTON GLOBE
A wicked googly in the UK. A routine relay throw in a cricket match, and it's lights out for a pigeon. If you want to skip the prelims, move it up to 1:10 and watch the bird "get it".
If you want to really see a bird destroyed, nothing does it better than American baseball when Randy Johnson still had his fastball.
We're smart, we're beautiful and know our right from our other right!
In Latvia, the nation's blondes are marching for the greater good, and it won't even blow out the long end of the yield curve. Any of you guys starting to wonder what airfare to Latvia is?
Organisers said they were determined to bring positive energy to their country, which is expected to see its economy contract by 16 per cent this year. I know it brought some positive energy to me!
The parade was part of a "Blonde Weekend" which also featured a blonde golf tournament, a little lady fashion show, an evening ball, and a children's drawing competition.
"It's a great time to spend in the parade and contribute to a charity," said Ieva, one blonde spectator.
"Finally something different, something positive because I'm tired of hearing about the crisis," said another, 70-year-old Ausma. Read THE TELEGRAPH
Hot Latvian ladies have been in the news a couple times these past weeks. Apparently Latvian prostitutes are "reliable economic indicators" and according to business (or lack thereof), there's no sign of quick economic recovery.
They kind of look like the old Russian Trabant's.....how fitting for this administration. You know that two car garage you have....could be good for five or six now!
Stole it from IOWAHAWK
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
The article also looks at the EP's Europarl TV channel, launched last year at a cost of $13 million, and only available on the internet. When asked how many hits it gets, an EU official is quoted saying, "You won't get me to answer that".
“Some of the girls are now doing it for 30 euros. My price is still 50 euros, but the men are playing us off against each other. Some want to pay only 20 euros,” she said.
Twenty-six-year-old Oxana, who shares Eva’s window, says her income has halved in six months while her window rent went up 25 percent in January.
On a “good day” she sees six clients but sometimes only one — at 50 euros per visitor not enough to cover her half of the 150 euro daily rent.
“But I can’t do it for 20 or 30 euros like some of the others. That is not money.”
But in China, representing the country as chief bond salesman, he openly mocked.
The Flyer has pictures of two Burger Kings in downtown Memphis, as well as the transcript of a conversation with one store's manager, where he claims that the signs were not a mistake and reflected the views of Burger King international.
Doesn't Al Gore frequent these Burger Kings?
Monday, June 01, 2009
More disappointing for us male fans of the sport was Ana Ivanovich, as the defending women’s champion fell flat on her face (actually, I don’t know if that’s posssible) and was knocked out of the tournament by Victoria Azarenka in straight sets.